Remember the post on the OOZINATOR? and Amazing Mister Fisty? I just stumbled on this comic that explains sooo much.

Yet Another Disturbing Child's Toy

We were all at a yard sale recently and Gar found this piece of equipment and abasolutely had to have it. For fifty cents, I wasn't arguing. On closer inspection, there was something about this "toy" that triggered my memory. Then I remembered a certain critical bit of dialogue between Val Kilmer and Billy J. Mitchell, playing "Nick River's agent" in the movie TOP SECRET. You know the one. I do TRY to be a family friendly blog, don't ask for clarification!

The photos in this post are sized as thumbails. Click on them to view a larger file.



The gun is basically a giant fist that extends in and out on the end of a gun barrel.
Draw your own conclusions. It does make the standard electronic beeping and zapping noises when turned on. That's NOT double entendre you perv!

I can't find any reference to it online, and the fact that we found a functioning copy for two bits either indicates that this is a very old toy or some parent somewhere was more than happy to be rid of it. We dubbed it the Amazing Mister Fisty gun. There are references to Power Rangers on the toy itself, which would argue that it is probably pretty old. A google and wiki search turned up no references.

Here we see a close up on the fist attachment.



Here my intrepid volunteer shows you how the fist retracts to "firing mode".



What we have HERE, is a FAILURE, to COMMUN-I-CATE... Little G. Deploys Mister Fisty...



As in the case of the OOZINATOR, I am certain there's no double entendre going on here, just a massive failure to realize the potential for really, really tasteless jokes this toy represents.



MISTER FISTY UPDATE: I didn't know what this thing was called. One of the interpid researchers on TMP has revealed that it is called a Battlized Arm Extender. It can be viewed in context, HERE.

Where have I been all week??

I've been running a gaming summer camp for Saint Stephens and Saint Agnes school in Alexandria Va. I got the "gig" on former HMGS president Del Stover's recommendation. He ran the program last year, and it was billed as primarily a Lord of the Rings battle gaming camp. I told the folks at SSSA that I didn't really do the "Games Workshop thing" but they seemed eager to have me there anyway.





So my program was a wee bit different. I tried to create a game design course for 12 year olds with the stated 'graduation' of running a game that we designed, with figures we painted, with terrain that we built. I had mixed results.



It was clear that the vast majority of students just wanted to play Warhammer in some format during the week.. nothing wrong with that, I suppose. I brought in a whole bunch of unpainted Warhammer stuff from my basement and they went crazy for it.



They were less enthralled with 54mms, but I loved the ones I bought... they were great and just right for painting novices, who need a lot of room to make mistakes. MY mistake was not accomodating (off the bat) the need for more advanced painters in the crowd.



Painting was the morning class every day, and it lasted until 11. On one day we had a terrain building workshop... on another, we built buildings.





I ran a game EVERY DAY which was exhausting to me. On Monday, it was Gladiator fighting using my friend Steve Gibson's rules and figures. On Tuesday, we did Lord of the Rings. On Wednesday, we did Lord of the Rings again and The Rules with No Name, VSF style. We continued that game on Thursday, as it was immensely popular. I designed a combat chariot game for the class and ran it on Friday, and it, too proved to be wildly popular. Our graduation exercise (designing our own game) did not come off as I thought it would, but we had great fun with the combat chariots game instead. Not to mention the ice cream party afterward.



I loved running this camp. It was the most demanding GMing I've ever had to do, and the most creative I've had to be as a designer. I liked "my guys", who were uniformly clever gaming geeks. I hope to have the opportunity to do it again.



Perhaps the greatest compliment I've had as a GM came from Thomas, one of the sharper knives in the drawer, as he saw me limping out of the administration building at the end of the week. "Mr. O'Hara.. .just wanted to tell you.. that Wild West game, with the Prussians and Giant Steam Robot, and the United States Sharpshooters, and the evil cultists.. that was the best wargame experience I've ever had! Could you come back and throw a whole week of games like THAT next year??? for the older kids??"

Clearly I need to work on the format, but I have an idea of where I want to go next year now, and what pushes the buttons of these guys. Some of them came to just paint miniatures. Some of them came to just play Warhammer brand X. Some of them liked everything. Some of them just liked watching a movie at lunch time. It's hard to motivate everyone all the time. But I think I have an inkling of where to go with it if they ask me back.

The Bukkake Gun

The Super Soaker Oozinator is a real product being sold by Hasbro these days.



The product description reads like so:

Air-powered blaster lets you drench your opponents with powerful blasts of water or globs of gooey bio-ooze!

Hit targets up to 35 feet away with a 27-ounce water-supply capacity or up to 20 feet away with a 10-ounce bio-ooze capacity!

Blaster comes with 10-ounce cartridge of bio-ooze.

Sneak up on your opponents with a surprise bio-ooze attack!

Just when they think you’re coming at ‘em with water, blast ‘em with a shot of icky bio-ooze!

Shoot out globs of gooey bio-ooze and then drench ‘em with water!

It’s a double blast attack that’ll keep your opponents on their toes and running during every water fight. With the OOZINATOR blaster you don’t just get soaked, you get drenched!

If you can get the video to work... it's just plain disturbing. The ought to call this thing the Bukkakinator. There's a sporadic video button on the Hasbro site, worth checking out.

I swear, Peewee Harman ended up in jail for similar activities, and we're allowing pre-teens to do this...

UPDATE: I really, really wanted to add a link to their onsite video, but apparently Hasbro is getting wind of the general hilarity their ad campaign has caused. The video on site no longer seems to work. FORTUNATELY!! YouTube comes to the rescue! Prepare to be amazed!!!



It really doesn't take much to put snippets of the above video into a hideously inappropriate subtext. Observe parts of the above video spliced in with the "Oh Face" scene from the popular film Office Space:



(If you're seeing "Remote Linking Forbidden" it's because the freebie host has bandwidth limits. Here's a local link to a page that has the image)

Looks a little more sinister NOW, doesn't it?