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Pulp Captions Round 16 Results

Mister Nizz


Ah, there's nothing like a Sleazy Novel for Pulp Caption fodder!

And the Entries

Gary Christiansen - "Damn, my finger is caught in the knot again."

David Fox - "Well waddaya know, she really does have blonde roots after all."

Brian Youse - "John nearly strangled her with a large pearl necklace." *** FIRST PLACE ***

Paul Wegner - "Then they made the mistake of looking down and were instantly mesmerized by Delores' hypno-breasts."

Bill Ramsay - "Was that supposed to be three AAA batteries or three AA batteries?"

Karen Spurny - "Geez. Who knew a hickey could be so fatal?"

Matt Foster - "This was MUCH easier, Lew reflected. He would take back the pearls and just keep using the Quaalude."

Mike Reed - "'Conditioning' time was over. Now was the time to be MARRIED, and she would be his WIFE."

Todd Goff - cue ZZ Top: "She wants a pearl necklace."

Peter Stein - "Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, he'll get the hint and go away."

Robin Griller - "Shit, she's got lice. How do I sleep with her, without catching them?"

"But....but....but...," Jason spluttered, "you told me you were pre-op!"

James Spurny - "Kris and Mary Beth: A nutjob's wet dream."

Jason Schmidt - "Eight thousand dollars for a RealDoll later Ted found he still felt empty and soulless inside. The sharp sensation of steel biting through latex was now his only possible release." *** SECOND PLACE ***

"Lou pulled the necklace even tighter, cutting off the blood flow completely as the fake pearls cut deep into her alabaster skin. 'Now if you wanna breathe again I recommend you post to the Iraq Aftermath Folder right the fuck now, understand?'"

Peter Card - Her icy indifference thrilled Pepe to the core, coloured with foreboding. Was she truly dead, yet still warm to the touch, or merely American. *** THIRD PLACE ***

T. Johnston - Wilma's last thought. "Clark is such a dyslexic dork, I ask him to choke me then give me a pearl necklace."

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