Pulp Captions Round 12

This week's PULP CAPTION comes from ARGOSY, August of 1948!

David Fox - "For Lance, a quick tap was always enough to dislodge that last drop of water in the ear. But he is still stuck with that nettlesome question that all men of today must answer-- how do I get that last crab to let go of my nuts ?"


Mike Reed - "At last, young Eric found his dream job (one that didn't require work)...a stand-in for Troy Donahue.."


"What Eric hated about being on the 'receiving end' of bukkake was that 'it' was always getting in his ears..." **** FIRST PLACE ****


"As Lars exited the water and was clearing his ears, he couldn't help but wonder...who _WAS_ that mysterious American who had stolen away his beautiful Norweigan nymph? What did a _librarian_ have that he didn't? Was it true of what they said, "Once you go 'black helicopter', you never go back"???"


Karen Spurny - "Rejoicing in kicking sand in the face of a beach weenie, Chuck didn't realise that in ten years Charles Atlas was going to own him."


Peter Card - "Several blows to the head dislodged the last few drops of liberal news agenda from Brad's cerebral cortex. With relief he felt his hatred for freedom subside to a low throbbing moral relativism and a sneaking regard for KD Lang's lyrics."


Paul Wegner - No matter how hard Rex hit himself in the head, he still could not get the image of Brian Y in a thong out of his mind. **** THIRD PLACE ****



Ian Wedge A smile, a flick of the hair and a rub of the towel, and all evidence of low flying seagulls was gone.


Matt Foster - “Look, Ron,” Lance said tiredly, “This ‘dsdsdsdsdsdsThe Men of Tomorrow will piss one each other’s heads’ cult just won’t fly. Why don’t you try starting a fake religion instead?”


Dirk Heinz - "Must remember to put Supports A Ruhr - Silesia in my next move" **** SECOND PLACE ****


T. Johnston - This is the last photo of Guy Lesnevich, taken an instant before he exploded his own skull while demonstating a powerful open palm fighting technique. Guy, who called himself "The Man From Tomorrow", was a martial arts champ, golf pro and spy. His funeral will be closed casket.


Otto Schmidt - Wow,! I coulda' had a V-8"


"Uhh..Duhh... This works when I have water in my ear, maybe it'll work for the bullet too!"


"I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shorts,

Too sexy for my Shirt

Too Sexy....

Too Sexy.....

Too Sexy...."



"Lemuel Lunkitt had spent a fortune on his makeover from West Virginia hillbilly to Surfer Dude, but the goal of it all still did nowithout telling him, the owners of his favorite nude beach had sold it to the Southern Baptists."


"Kyle was in a good mood. It was going well! She had said "Can't we just be friends" and "I'll call you sometime......"


Joe Steadman - “I won't do it Kahn (pronounced KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHNNNNNNN)!!!!” **** MITFTi Prize ****


“That was too bad of a landing… now, where did I leave that time-machine?” **** MITFTi Prize ****

Walt thought… “Thank goodness I’m not Tenctonese. … stupid Slags”…**** MITFTi Prize ****


Gary Christiansen - "Damn Babelfish always pops out when you least expect it." **** MITFTi Prize ****

Next Week's (Round 13) Caption comes from DETECTIVE FICTION WEEKLY (Sept 21, 1929)