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Pulp Captions Round 11 Results

Mister Nizz

PulpCap Round 11

Round 11's Pulp Caption comes from the cover of Detective Fiction, May of 1940 issue!

Jason Schmidt - "Another Ty Bomba alt-hist number, I see."

"The Union of the Snake is on the criiii-iiimb."

"Trouble at the Bohemian Grove."

"Bread hamming cheese joke only funny one time, mothafucka!"

"Though he already understood the foolishness of bringing a knife to a gunfight, Tony was only now learning not to bring a snake to a knife fight."

"Haryuki decides he's not going to let even one more bukkake joke go unanswered." **** tie THIRD PLACE!! ****

"The real reason James Iha was kicked out of Smashing Pumpkins."

Mike Reed - "Lawrence's penchant for posting pics that weren't his on Boardgamegeek finally came to blows over a Firefight game...."

"Black & White counters??? Black & White counters??? What's next, printing the Japanese in yellow????!!!"

New on HBO... "Swearingen & Wu...the War Years"

"I don't care if you have the new Comcast Digital phone...you snake now!!!"

"Walt's first attempt to run a Colonial Diplomacy game backfired terribly..."

Gary Christiansen - "How Not To Book: Adolf Hisssssster and the use of Saps."

"Okay Chertoff, set the alert level to yellow and nobody gets hurt."

"Look Chuckles, I've got the curvy dagger. Put your rattle down now and we'll get help for you and your imaginary snake friends."

"Walt: Diplomacy is not for the faint of heart, I sent email by gawd!... Joe: I keep telling you Walt, the dagger goes in the back in Diplomacy, not the front."

"Silly old man, you're the blood sacrifice tonight." **** tie SECOND PLACE!! ****

"Snakes, why is it always about snakes!"

"You can't do this bit without a plane you moron!"

"No no no... not cobras.... Asps! Very Dangerous. You go first."

Ian Wedge - "Green Terror? Everyone know this Yellow Peril week. Now you die, round eyes!"

Ian Schofield - "Get the spider off me! Get the spider off me!"

Paul Wegner - "The Union of the Snake is on the Rise?!? Now you die Duran Duran wannabe!"

"Do I have to cut you to get it through your thick skull that ASLSK is not a gateway to ASL?" (Advanced Squad Leader, Advanced Squad leader's Starter Kit)

"You try to define what is and what isn't a CDG again and I'll have to cut ya" (CDG="Card Driven Game")

"You complain food not ready? I tol you five ten minute when you call. Only been 7 minute muthafaka!"

"FRIED RICE you flucking plick!"

Dave Townsend - "George Takei made it clear to Roddenberry that he wasn't going to work with Shatner any more."

Peter Card - Not so big now are you, you white bread country club big nose dillitante facist, coming round my laundry with your inbred donkey felating golf buddies and disrespecting my workers. They work hard, they wash your disgusting undergarments and what do they get? You! You and your retarded chums, bringing clubs to a knife fight. I ..

Excuse me pal, but is this going to take all night? I've got other slant eye establishments to disrepect you know.

Hey! You excuse ~me~ Mr Greenshirt. Mr. Nizz goes for length over quality. I gotta string this out. **** tie SECOND PLACE!! ****

T. Johnston - "As Heinrich franticly fought the Chinaman, he regretted that his self defense class never got beyond defending against fresh fruit."

Pat Osika - "I tell you last time! No tickee, no shirtee!"

Joe Steadman - Sulu thought "Screw the Prime Directive, I'm not dying on this alternative, back in the past, thanks-to-Kirk Earth!" **** tie THIRD PLACE!! ****

"What they were fighting about.... who got to guard the holy sword... the Knights of Cobra or the traditional local take-out cooks... "

Karen Spurny - "You totally disrespect Cobra Kai Dojo. No more wax on wax off. No more side side. It's "NO MERCY!" Try to remember that!"

The Park Avenue Hunt Club's selection committee had really let its standards decline in recent years.

Peter Stein - (Remote 80's TV reference ahead!) It wasn't murder, Quincy, but this is!!!

Otto Schmidt - "The Lights HAVE gone out all over Europe!!-- and now that the intra-murals are done in the World Dominantion game it's on to the Varsity Team! First up "The Nazi Plague Vs the Yellow Peril!


"HA! Foorish Fascist pig! Eveeeyone know knife beat tluncheon! You shourd have picked Stone!"

"Moe Teitelbaum saw the looming spirit of futility rear up before his eyes as he realized all those years of masquerading as a pure Aryan were for naught. "And all this because I didn't have my tickee to get my
shirtee!" he thought."

"Bruno Bucholtz and Sum-Dum-Gai would look back on this moment in later years and laugh at the arguments they had when they first opened their Chinese-German fusion culture restaurant. The location was good, the
ambiance superb, and the food great. The only complaints they ever heard about the food was that an hour later you were hungry for power." **** FIRST PLACE!! ****

"Won-Fat-Chink Screamed...You Bastald!!! I always wanted to be the guy that beat the drum that went boom boom that played in the German Band..."

"Wang Chung bellowed at his father Horst Schlitzkopf "Adopted! Adopted!! what you mean I was adopted!"

Eva Bellambi - “Listen to me, you worthless snake-wearing old man! I don’t care what that idiot, Inspector Clouseau, told you. I am NOT making you another cup of tea until you hand over the opium you are carrying God-knows-where. I laugh at that puny little club of yours.”

Next Week's Pulp Cap (Round 13)