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Pulp Captions Round 7 Results

Mister Nizz

PC7's Pulp Image is from the cover of EUROPA, by Robert Briffault, publication date 1935

Peter Card - "Secret Diary of a BPA Board Member"

Bill Ramsay - "Did you know they chose Ritual Torture as the theme for this party, John? We're totally overdressed!"

Matt Foster - "Few of Pierre’s dinner guests were mollified by his attempt to discipline the domestic staff. In this New France, serving the cheese BEFORE dessert was simply unacceptable."

T. Johnston - John decides to punishes Elaine after she over-clipped the counters to his (formerly) mint copy of "DNO"

Gary Christiansen - "Recent additions to the Masonic rituals brought more members than ever to the fold."

"It turned out a fatal error for Mike since Melonie knew where he slept."

"Bondage and sado-masochism seems to sell Madame Ponderoi's House services almost as well as Black & White SS counters sell wargames."

"Thank you Sir, may I have another?"

David Fox - "Chains and whips, always with the chains and whips. What is it with you people ? Call me old-fashioned, but I still prefer a nice quick rattle in the upstairs pantry with the chambermaid."

Jason Schmidt - "The secret life of Tor Johnson."

"In a bid to revive flagging ratings the WWE takes it's Saturday night wrestling program to the next level."

"Brian Blad teaches an errant eBay seller the finer points of morality, ethics, and honesty."

"Lacking a dead horse, CSWers were forced to flog whatever came near."

Paul Wegner - Mr. Clean takes a second job.

John Slotwinski - The Pleasantville Country Club took the Rules of Golf very seriously. Ellen vowed to never improve her lie again.

Morris Hadley - "Forget my caption entry will you? I'll whip the forgetfulness right out of you, you wig-wearing, squirrelly caption-forgetter you!" panted Joe as he lashed into Walt's defenseless, creamy flesh in an uncontrolled frenzy of unconsummated, artistic captionation. While the rest of the O'Hara Blog huddled, speechless clutching their diet Dr. Peppers- all thoughts of E-Bay fraud or turded maps forgotten by the vehemence and passion of Steadman's outburst." *** FIRST PLACE ***

Charles Vasey - For God's sake tip properly this time, Ronald; they're damnably excitable in here.

Klaus Knechtskern - "AP upper management echelon assures that the graphic artist will deliver better map graphics the next time"

James Spurny - "Reginald, dahling, perhaps we should hire this Martian torturer for little Suzy's birthday party next week. The children didn't care for Binky the clown last year, and Suzy does so need to learn a girl's lot in life..."

Dirk Heinz - "I'll show you 'specially revised and edited'"

Karen Spurny - "Does Xxyxyx realise how passe that is? Zorro used that for a calling card years ago."

Joe Steadman - "Radio Commercial: Coming this fall, staring Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, a movie so ground breaking it was made illegal in Utah....Eyes Wide Shut II: The Dungeon"

"Adult Movie: Unibrow Jeremy and Little Debbie star in Bondage Love Slave Part 5"

"Woman in red-dress: Oh, Stanly can I be next?"

"Woman in bottom left corner thinks to herself, “maybe going out with Paris and Linds was a bad idea….”

"Man all the way back peeking in: “Wow, Walt and Gary do throw a great party!” "

Eva Bellambi - The cocktail party guests watched in horror (and some with strange attraction) as Mr. Clean stripped Mrs. Hanscomb-Forbes right there in the parlor and began disciplining her for the use of Pine Sol cleaner during her preparations for the evening. *** THIRD PLACE ***

Otto Schmidt - "(woman in red dress in background) "No one wears the same dress as me to MY party!"

"Though the designers of Mayfair Games had no doubt that it would boost sales they passed on this cover for their large series of linked Board games about World War II."

"In the lair of Zorro's arch rival Xerox."

"Fascist Foreplay- or What do Women REALLY Want?" by Benito Mussolini.

"This time Jerry Springer went too far!"

"So outrageous had Cynthia's behaviour been that the network decided merely voting her off the island was not enough!" *** SECOND PLACE ***

"Big Brother- After Dark!"

"Stirred not Shaken is how Mr. Bondage wants his Martini's"