Warblob

We just got back from scout camp. Very much the Iron John kind of weekend.. running around, campfires, S'mores, kites, frisbees, hotdogs, scout cooking. Banging on a drum, bad jokes and Indian lore.

Paranthetical Insert:

Mister Nizz's Favorite Campfire Jokes for little children?

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says,

"I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that; you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies

"Yes, I'm QUITE positive."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal:

to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,

"Ah, the twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him:

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Watching Gar run with the pack, as it were, I noticed a strange, familiar rythmn of the games they were playing. The boys didn't have any gun toys, but they were moving forward in short rushes, covering each other, using sticks as gun stand ins. They were using those little hi-tech walkie-talkies to provide intersquad communications as they moved on objective. This is interesting. None of the adults taught them how, or initiated the game... yet here we were, playing the same games I did when I was a kid (right down to the walkie talkies!).

I don't believe in gun toys-- other than squirt guns. I don't like the revoltingly violent video games that are common faire these days-- our home video system dates back to 1991 and is quite prosaic by modern standards. On the other hand, I've not lived a life devoid of violence and I'm not hypocritical about it. I just don't believe in making it easy for children to ape their elders' mistakes.

The "army man" game was something different altogether.. kind of a tribal memory that boys seem to share. I know Gar didn't get it from me, yet he's quite proficient as an assistant squad leader. I have to wonder if this is the kernel of 'guyhood' that lurks in all of us. Certainly this isn't a new observation... sociologists have observed traditional sexual sterotypes forming in groups of boys, even in a vacumn where no outside catalysts for that behavior are present.

When I talked to Gar later, I asked what game he was playing earlier. He couldn't really give it a name, just "running around"... he said, mumbling. I was greatly amused to see the cycle start itself again..