6:47 PM

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Shameful, shameful schadenfreude

Mister Nizz

I'm a bad person

Why do I snicker so loud? It's not as if we haven't seen this story before: pretty actress has a breakout role that takes her out of the soap opera circuit, does a string of largely formulaic comedies, finds her career in a slump. She goes back to the small screen in a much touted, sadly formulaic alleged comedy vehicle that will demonstrate her talents and her charms. I guess I'm just in awe of how fast the process took with Ms. Heather Graham recently:

PASADENA, California (AP) -- One minute, Heather Graham was the face of ABC. The next minute, she was gone.

Her comedy series "Emily's Reasons Why Not" was promoted relentlessly by the network as the linchpin of its post-football Monday night schedule, but was only given one airing before being yanked earlier this month.

ABC committed to the big promotional campaign before even seeing a script for the show, said ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Saturday. The series turned out to be a dog creatively, he indicated.

"Once we saw it was not launching, we felt like unfortunately it was not going to get better and we had to make a change," McPherson said.

A total of six episodes were filmed, and McPherson said no determination has been made about whether they would be burned off.

The quick hook doesn't mean producers of other ABC series with middling ratings -- "Invasion," for example -- should be shaking in fear.

"That's a great example for us of when to be patient and when to fold them," he said. "We believe in that show."

Ouch! Better luck in your next vehicle, Heather. For what it's worth, I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing at the factory that produces the crap you work with.

Hey, ABC! It would be a good idea if you deleted the show's WEBSITE, dudes, this doesn't look too professional.

My cunning prediction for who's next: JENNA ELFMAN on "Courting Alex".... it's doomed! Hey, I was right about NIGHT STALKER, wasn't I?