12:40 PM

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Pulp Captions Round 19 Results

Mister Nizz

Pulp cap 19 Concluded



Our picture is from THRILLING WONDER STORIES, AUGUST 38.

Picture:



Captions

David Fox - "Put aside your cuirasses made from mithril mined from the deepest caverns and thrice forged into nigh-impenetrability, your helms of strange alien metal from the fallen meteor that have withstood scratch and tarnish through centuries of battle and duel of honor, and your blades of the strongest steel sharpened to so fine an edge that even gnats flee in terror," cried Biff the Interplanetary Guardian, "for I have a string on a stick !"


Paul Wegner - "McGyver saves the day again with nothing more than a metal clothes hanger, a stick, some brylcream and a fabulous shirt by Zwihar, the clothier to the stars of Planet Sorta-greek looking guys."


Dave Townsend - "Staging Jurassic Park in Roman times was difficult, because there was no place for the puppeteers to hide."


Charles Vasey - "I thought you said Wizard!"


Mike Reed - "We find our hero, a young and flaxen-maned Bill C. flanked by his two able-bodied man-servants, as he brazenly takes on the fearsome GEICO lizard, armed only with a coat hanger and a stick..."


Karen Spurny - "Tune in on Thursday nights for the most thrilling programme you've ever seen: Crocodile Hunter- The Interplanetary Edition."


Jason Schmidt - "The ferocious lizard-beasts of Omicron VI were notoriously difficult to catch unless the hunter knew their one weakness; an uncontrollable attraction to anything in a skirt."


"Shit like this never seemed to make it into Julius Caesar's writings."**** THIRD PLACE ****


"Blades vs. Beast in Rough Going nets you a +1 on your roll." (At least I know Walt will get that one if nobody else.)


Peter Card - "I'll lassoo the Rrsslykr while he's distracted by the sight of your bare behind", gritted Gordon. In that instant, a legend was born. **** FIRST PLACE ****


Peter Bartlett - Marlon Perkins: "This dragon is one of the most dangerous animals in the world. So I'm sending Jim in to put the first rope on."


DirkHeinz - 1) Ole'


2) "...first I get him to jump through this thin hoola hoop"


3) Bill suddenly remembered that the garrot only worked when he was behind his intended target


4) Now he could show the leash law romans who the real beast master was.


Dennis Largesse - "It can be SO tiresome," thought Jeeves, "when
Master Bertie tries to be creative."


"Well, Mr. Poe, who gets the final laugh?" asked Mr. Lovecraft.**** SECOND PLACE ****


"Jeeves always regretted whenever Master Bertie spent time at the Drones Club."

Next Week's Caption:

Imaginative Tales, August 1954

6:44 AM

(3) Comments

TriaDCon 2007 in Pictures and Words

Mister Nizz

,



A little late, but better than never - An AAR for TriaDCon 2007


Finally! Wal*Mart found my missing pictures CD. I was hopping mad!

And yes, there were silly hats...




I bought a little disposable camera on the way to the convention on Saturday, having conveniently forgotten my digital one. For some perverse reason, I bought a black and white .. hadn't taken a b&w picture in years, and thought it might be interesting. Due to getting stuck behind an accident scene and running late, I paid for a garage place, as I figured I'd be there almost all day. I was right. Fortunately, I have switched GMing philosophy from bigass, heavy grandiose concept games like Le Grand Cirque to small, portable, fun games like Gladiator Fighting, and Tavern Brawl games, and Lilliput, and the Tibetan Corpse Racing Olympiad, all of which can be toted up hills in the heat without having a coronary. Parking is an issue with TriaDCon, which was just as sticky this year as last.. however, this time we had signs up, and got the word out well in advance about Parking, what's free and what's not, and the risk of ticketing at U-Md. Point taken for next year.

I got to the convention around 930 that day, and the crowd was already quite good, considering a large portion of the floor space was behind a construction curtain, You can see the new "Mongolian Barbecue" construction space on the left in this picture.


and to the right in this one:


As you can see much of the space is taken up with boardgaming of various genres. One element I added this year, as the miniatures scheduler, was the three "Island" tables on the left, above. You can see Hal Dyson's wonderful AERODROME game in the center of the three "Islands" in the picture above.

I noticed that no matter what was being run on an island table, that guy usually had a full house for players. point taken for next time.

Mr. Goon's resurgence of the Go teaching opportunity (below) was once again welcomed. I'm not sure if it drew many outside players or not, but I did take the time to bombard many of the local Go email lists for this area, and I think I even emailed the IGF. We definitely had a nice stream of players, so I hope he returns for next year.



One element definitely new to the convention was a roleplaying track. We had (I think) four events and some discussion panels. We were a little light on space for discussions and hosted them in the Gazebo Room. Oddly enough for a first time event, these were a bit of a draw and we had some dedicated players. Point taken for next year.

Here we see Mike running his Serenity Role Playing Game. I'm not a huge RPG fan (not having done much in the genre) but I loved the look and detail of the RPG Mike was running. He did a fine job and his players enjoyed themsleves.


It's always nice to see Joan and David Wendland of Blood and Cardstock games. She was the silly hats vendor, having gone to the annual Toy Fair and picked up a lot of truly silly hats cheap. Joan is a very talented designer and I sat in on a playtest of her new game in the works called.. something something pie fight. The game is ostensibly about monsters shuffling around and having a pie fight, with magickal pie-flinging spells which tickled my fancy.



Whatever it was called, it was silly, involved pie, and was nicely balanced. Nice job, Joanie!

I ran a gladiator game early in the day, mostly with Curt and Grant Daniels. We had a fourth player, but he wussed on us after one turn because his pals were signaling for him to play Die Macher with them or something. Too violent for a Euro Player, I guess. Hey, who am I to complain, he bought my copy of GALAXY by GMT.


Seems like we had some of that magical marketing Synchronicity left over from WBC and Historicon this year. "The Great Convergence" (wince) was on display at TriaDCon, too! Many wargamers played Euros, many miniatures game players played RPGs and board games.


Some conflict sim fans playing Napoleon's Triumph, the new Austerlitz block game in the series that began with Bonaparte at Marengo (above).

Games Club of Maryland was there in force and contributed greatly to the success of the convention. I would like to extend our thanks for the wonderful job done by Mr. Keith Levy and all the tournament organizers he assembled for our humble little convention. Thanks, guys.





We made use of the right side foyer more this year than we did last year. We moved registration up there to provide more floor space below on the main floor, and held several events up in the rightside foyer. Above you can see what a nice mixed crowd we had, of all ages. I personally think the OTHER foyer, on the left, may be a loser. People just don't know it's there and any event held there was ill attended by HMGS convention standards.




Here was a very interesting game concept being put on by Jonathan Miller. It's a naval battle between the Bismark and the Prince of Wales, but the focus is not on moving ships and comparing armor to broadside weight. The real game is about keeping the ship afloat after it starts to take damage, and how you allocate damage repair resources. A fascinating game idea that would make a brilliant boardgame.



Bob McDonald ran his somewhat famous FOUR MACGUFFINS game, a pulp adventure/skirmish using the Chain Reaction rules (above). Many thanks, sir, you were tireless at this.

Some Historical and not-so Historical games...




Taladega Nights...


My friend Ben Pecson considers a move at what looks like DBR from this angle..




(Above) The folks from WADBAG start setting up De Bellus Vashingtonium, our annual DBA tournanment. A big thank you to the folks who set this up, you provided a lot of fun for a lot of people for a lot of hours!

(Results here)

DBV is always welcome at TriaDCon, never fear!

Lastly, we did have a bring and buy flea market event, and it was stellar. I sold about 90 dollars worth of games that I wasn't going to play any more, and promptly spent the money buying NEW stuff...


Free Enterprise at its best

I did run a game on Sunday, Return to Lilliput. Said game is detailed elsewhere.

AAR Summary:

Financially, we did not loose our shirts this year. The convention actually paid for itself, and grew attendance, although not as much as I would like.. maybe only about 20 to 30 above last years' figures, but that's not at all bad for a local convention.

Facilities: There were issues with the site location, and many of them aren't going to be easy to overcome. The big one is parking. Parking is some distance away from the dining facility and drive up access is very limited. We have tried to negate this by being johnny on the spot with handtrucks and the freight elevator. Secondly the facility is not exactly handicap friendly. It's possible to maneuver around it, but it takes some effort. Some of our game space was taken up with construction this year. We were told they would be finished in time for TriaDCon, but this did not prove to be the case. I don't sense it had a huge impact on the show. The separation of the far left mezzanine from the rest of the con was a problem, even with signage and helpful people giving directions. It just isn't a starter. Conversely, adding some miniatures events directly to the main floor was very good for the miniatures games. It's all about location. The big plusses to the site location is limited free catering that comes with it (free, giant cookies that cost and arm and a leg elsewhere, and soda), and being located next to a nice cafeteria. It's not the Four Seasons, but its' better than just about any food I ate at the Eisenhower during Fall In (not knocking that convention, at all, I just don't like the hotel's caterer).

Vendors-- it would be nice to have more, but really, we are about maxed out on the available space. We appreciate the local support for our Con! We even gave up the reg table to add another one in. At this stage, I'd rather see smaller, local guys like Blood and Cardstock over a mega vendor, but heck, we'll take what we can get.

Price: We had to pay a little extra for insurance.. and had to cover the cost, so we knocked it up a buck or two. I think our price is a pretty good bargain for a convention held inside the DC Metro area (inside the beltway!). We did offer a few incentives here and there that some people took advantage of (special prices for GMs and Boy Scouts). We can't afford to give anything away on a massive scale at the moment, but we can at least do the right thing for GMs and scouts.

Staff: Much better this year.. and I mean by LEAPS AND BOUNDS. Many, many thanks to the stalwart lads of the Southern Maryland Partizans, who showed up in force to help schlepp tables, stand a watch at the front desk or flea market, and generally help by being helpful and unfailingly polite and cheerful about it. To give you a good idea of HOW helpful these volunteeers where, we were at the convention until 9 or 10 last year, breaking down tables. We got out by 7 or so this year.

Advertising and ROI: Last year, we were a brand new convention relying on strict word of mouth and postings on the Internet. This year, we tried to put in a much better effort. We placed adverts in Wargames Illustrated, the Historicon and Cold Wars Program books, the NoVaG newsletter, spammed various forums and yahoogroups repeatedly, and dropped fliers in all the stores. We didn't see a hoarde for our efforts, but we held last year's numbers easily and have even grown somewhat. At least I can feel that we did what needs to be done in this regard.

In closing, many thanks to the many, many people who contributed their time, effort, volunteerism, and creativity to putting on TriaDCon and contributing so much to its success. This is not just the GMs and Volunteers and the Convention Cabal (the closest thing we have to a board of directors), but also anyone who took the time to attend. We have worked hard to return the concept of a good, old fashioned local convention with a mixed format to the DC region, and we just might be suceeding due to your efforts.

9:22 PM

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Gladiator Fightin' at TriaDCon

Gladiator Fighting with Curt and Grant Daniels



I ran RUDIS: THE WOODEN SWORD at TriaDCon a couple weekends back. I got three players initially, but the fourth player wimped on us when his buddies set up a boardgame two tables away (and I was happy to see him go!). So I took the third slot.

The rules were MUNERA SINE MISSIONE rules for gladiatorial combat, by Mr. Alan Saunders. These are very simple rules to run, easy to classify gladiators and easy to conduct combat. I will use them again.

The scale was 54mm, the miniatures were Italieri, Alpha Miniatures, and a few Outland Minis.




Curt managed to wipe us all out and he had the obligatory gloating moment. Fun times!

9:49 AM

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Pimping for Howard...

Mister Nizz

Blatant Hucksterism ON:

Using the technology of the new century to create the magic of radio, we present Howard Whitehouse reading sections of his book 'The Faceless Fiend', and chatting about it.



You may want to turn the volume up. You may not want to watch a headshot of a man with a book in a rather poorly lit office. Just listen to my attempts to impersonate a thirteen year old girl from a savage mountain kingdom. I apologise to anyone from Chiligrit who may tune in -- Howard

Amazon Link

12:23 PM

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Pulp Captions Round 18 Results

Mister Nizz

CAPTION CONTEST 18

A very steamy cover from ADVENTURE magazine, December 1961 issue generates some of the best PulpCap this editor has seen yet.



The Entries:

Dave Fox - "And the verdict was: Death by Snoo Snoo !"


"In some cultures, lacking a gall bladder is considered a sign of great virility."


Charles Vasey - "Looks like Dave picked the wrong pussies, chuckled the captain."


Pat Osika - The missing Gilligan's Island episode.


Paul Wegner - "Hmm. Getting torn apart by panthers or living with one hundred wives. Can I have a minute to decide?" **** FIRST PLACE!! ****


Jason Schmidt - "Welcome to the real Fantasy Island!"


"For obvious reasons cameras aren't allowed in every part of the Playboy mansion's Grotto."


"In a shocking twist the MILF Hunter suddenly found the tables turned! The hunter was now the hunted."


Peter Stein - "So what is the truth about oversexed women?"


(also Stein) The Yank who Became an Island God


Not another article turning Derek Jeter into a Superman!


T. Johnston - "Hey Mr. Nizz, didn't I tell ya Axe body wash gets ya more women than panther piss."


Robin Grillet - "Even as he was dragged off to his doom, all Biff could do was wonder what had happened to the amazons' nipples."


Dave Townsend - "Punishments on Amazon Isle included sacrifice to their heathen gods, being torn to shreds by wild animals, and the dread titty twister." **** THIRD PLACE!! ****


Kasey Curtiss - "Morrie & Tom discovered the tropical island natives weren't so friendly to tourists after the cruise ship left port."


Gary Christiansen - "Yet another case of feminists being tortured mercilessly by oppressive patriach archtypes."


Karen Spurny - "Jim knew that the dastardly Strategically Placed Necklaces (pat pend.) seller deserved his horrible death." **** SECOND PLACE!! ****


Peter Card - "Jason's nipple ring proved to be his undoing."


James Spurny - "Although reluctant at first, the Captain decided Mormonism wasn't such a bad choice after all. Such are the perils found sailing on the Great Salt Lake."


Mike Reed - "Dear Penthouse Forum....you ain't gonna believe this, but..."


"Gary and Lawrence offended the ladies of Consimworld one too many times..."



Next Week's Caption:

From Thrilling Wonder Stories, August 1941

12:16 PM

(1) Comments

Jake Einstein RIP

Mister Nizz

, , ,

Farewell, Jake

The recent 9-11 anniversary was made all the more poignant by the passing of a truly great local resident, and the lack of attention it received in the wake of our annual hand-wringing over 9-11 vexed me beyond belief. Washington DC owes much of its offbeat musical heritage to one man, Mr. Jake Einstein. He was a media mogul (of sorts) that owned WHFS radio (102.3 on the dial in the old days, 99.1 after that, now a thing of blessed memory). Commercial WHFS filled the void between college radio and the tepid playlists of radio in the 80s. If WHFS had a playlist, it wasn't extremely obvious. You couldn't predict the next song that would come over the airwaves. The existence of a legendary hardcore punk scene in DC owes much to WHFS and its eccentric programming. My favorite DJs were the extremely off-beat Weasel (real name: Jonathan Gilbert, with his high pitched, radio disaster voice and simply encyclopaedic knowledge of anything to do with music) and Damien (Jake's son, who's speech impediment, a souvenier of a disasterous car accident, would have put paid to any radio career.. except at WHFS).

Eventually WHFS of old reputation (102.3) got sold, and the whole kit and caboodle moved down the dial to 99.1 MHz. That station brought the first Lollapalooza festival to the DC area). The new owners paid homage to "alternative" for several years, and even had some decent djs on the air now and then (I recall lending my treasured copy of the Shaggs to one of them at a party, and sure enough, she put MY PAL FOOT FOOT on the air!). Never got it back, dammit. Alas, commercial radio is a hard road to hoe, and eventually the new owners dropped the alternative format, going to mainstream rock for several years before switching to a Spanish-language format nearly two years ago. The great years are gone for good.

Some of the staff and the record library moved over to Jake Einstein's new station, WRNR in Annapolis. It is as close to a duplicate of the old WHFS as is possible. Damian is still on the air. Annapolis is too far away for me to reach. Weasel never left radio, and is now on the air with the supsiciously similar 94.7 The Globe in D.C. I'll take my musical quirkiness where I can get it.

I did work in D.C. radio for a while, right out of college. My first job was writing for a syndicated program that had played on HFS in the old days. Jake had sold the station long before, but he was still very active in the radio scene and I met him a few times, and always considered him a bit of a genius in an offbeat way. The world is lessened by his absence.

Jake, you meant so much to me personally and untold thousands of other listeners. I'm really going to miss you.

12:54 AM

(1) Comments

Return to Lilliput, Second Running

Return to Lilliput, revised rules

After plugging up a few holes in the rules and working out a few inconsistencies, I ran Return to Lilliput again for TriaDCon on Sunday. I only had two players (running two pirates each). I made the map smaller and narrower, and increased the ratio of resources to pirates, and gave the Pirates' feet some more points.



Direct Link to Image Shack Show


The game went very well, and played to completeion in a few hours. The rules are coming together very well.

2:40 PM

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Pulp Captions Round 17 Results

Mister Nizz

Low Turnout

Due to me posting one of those insipid webquizzes back to back with this picture from Detectives:



Charles Vasey - "(mister nizz) was horrified to find KW had tunnelled into the bedroom" *** FIRST PLACE ***

David Fox - "Dang, this JR Tracy guy either needs to live in a less-haunted house or put in smaller orders to Amazon, cuz this route is killing me." *** THIRD PLACE ***

Bill Ramsay - "All Lou had to do was get the trunk full of porridge on top of the trap door, and he'd finally be safe from the Kosovans."

Mike Reed - "No matter how hard the Sysop tried to suppress it, that 'GMT thing' just kept digging its way out..."

Peter Card - "Seth wondered if Wakawakka Indiana was ready for the capsule hotel concept.." *** SECOND PLACE ***

Next Week:

I'll make up for that lackluster result with a humbdinger of a pulp cover from Adventure, published in 1961:


1:25 PM

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Gettysburg 88: help out Dario

Mister Nizz

I get emails like this all the time because I made a lot of gameboxes for Cyberboard back in the day. Usually I give them the big brush off because I don't wish to be a source for someone else ripping off copyrights. However, I MIGHT have halped the guy if I had not also sufffered the loss of the rule book marcello describes (it wasn't made particularly well). Can anyone help him out?

I'm a italian 45-year old American Civil War buff (really, i'm...) with a terrible english, so I'll excuse me in advance for it!

Well, while trying to involve in the same passion my youngest son Marcello, I lost my manual of AH Gettysburg 1988 (but rule's sheet is safe!).

Please, can You send me -even in jpeg file o rso - the INITIAL disposition/setup of units markers for Day 2 and Day 3 (Pickett's Charge) scenarios?

While waiting for the courtesy of an answer, I thanks you in advance!

Dario Gallo - Palermo (Sicily)

7:22 AM

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Joe's Wargame video podcast

Steadman Returns

I know Joe Steadman from the old days of the Dice Tower, which I would sometimes call in to. He's a straightforward kind of guy; a wargamer, cop, and father of four (soon five). He was the "wargame voice" for Tom Vasel's "Euro Voice" right up until Episode 50 of the DT. He has since moved to Michigan and become a policeman (he had been a minister of some sort). I was glad to see that Joe has taken to the airwaves (cablewaves?) again with a Gaming Journal of his own, this one focusing on wargames. Instead of an audio program, the Gaming Journal is done in video and is available on You Tube. You can see the full gamut of the episodes HERE.



There's no hype here, I like the honesty and candor being displayed, and the fact that he brings his wife and kids into the production in spots.

Good work, Joe!

2:43 PM

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Another Useless WebQuiz

Mister Nizz

,

They got THIS algorithm totally wrong..


What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Literature Nerd
 

Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works.

It's okay. I understand.

Gamer/Computer Nerd
 
Science/Math Nerd
 
Social Nerd
 
Artistic Nerd
 
Drama Nerd
 
Musician
 
Anime Nerd
 
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quizzes for MySpace

12:02 PM

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Pulp Captions Round 16 Results

Mister Nizz

PULP CAPTION 16 RESULTS

Ah, there's nothing like a Sleazy Novel for Pulp Caption fodder!




And the Entries

Gary Christiansen - "Damn, my finger is caught in the knot again."


David Fox - "Well waddaya know, she really does have blonde roots after all."


Brian Youse - "John nearly strangled her with a large pearl necklace." *** FIRST PLACE ***


Paul Wegner - "Then they made the mistake of looking down and were instantly mesmerized by Delores' hypno-breasts."


Bill Ramsay - "Was that supposed to be three AAA batteries or three AA batteries?"


Karen Spurny - "Geez. Who knew a hickey could be so fatal?"


Matt Foster - "This was MUCH easier, Lew reflected. He would take back the pearls and just keep using the Quaalude."


Mike Reed - "'Conditioning' time was over. Now was the time to be MARRIED, and she would be his WIFE."


Todd Goff - cue ZZ Top: "She wants a pearl necklace."


Peter Stein - "Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, he'll get the hint and go away."


Robin Griller - "Shit, she's got lice. How do I sleep with her, without catching them?"


"But....but....but...," Jason spluttered, "you told me you were pre-op!"


James Spurny - "Kris and Mary Beth: A nutjob's wet dream."


Jason Schmidt - "Eight thousand dollars for a RealDoll later Ted found he still felt empty and soulless inside. The sharp sensation of steel biting through latex was now his only possible release." *** SECOND PLACE ***


"Lou pulled the necklace even tighter, cutting off the blood flow completely as the fake pearls cut deep into her alabaster skin. 'Now if you wanna breathe again I recommend you post to the Iraq Aftermath Folder right the fuck now, understand?'"


Peter Card - Her icy indifference thrilled Pepe to the core, coloured with foreboding. Was she truly dead, yet still warm to the touch, or merely American. *** THIRD PLACE ***


T. Johnston - Wilma's last thought. "Clark is such a dyslexic dork, I ask him to choke me then give me a pearl necklace."


Next week's Caption:

7:45 AM

(1) Comments

Miss South Carolina

Mister Nizz

,

That thumping sound you hear is me banging my head against the wall, slowly...