6:16 PM
Players Needed
I am contemplating running the following Bicycle Race game on Singularity: Breaking Away by Fiendish Games (ordering information on site). I will need six players (at least). The original game by Fiendish has a map and charts and cute little plastic men. The PBM rules (which I leeched from Variable Pig) are entirely text based and require little in the way of bookeeping. Let me know if you are interested, it should be a blast to play.PBM Rules to Breaking Away
(adapted from Variable Pig Version)
Breaking Away
This is an excellent cycling game similar to racing games like Golden Strider, but with some new twists. It was designed by John Harrington (Fiendish Games)
1. There are six players, and each player has a team of four cyclists. The cyclists are graded A. B. C and D.
2. At the beginning of the game. players choose cards numbered between 1 and 15 inclusive for each of their cyclists. Cyclist A may have 3 or 4 cards. The other cyclists must have 3 cards each.
3. Cyclist A's cards must add up to 30, cyclist B 25, cyclist C 20 and cyclist D 16.
4. A cyclist may start with more than one of the same number card. e.g. cyclist A could start with 4-6-9-11 or 10-10-10 or 1-1-13-15 or 5-5-5-15.
5. The race track is 120 squares long. (see Spreadsheet picture below -- Nizz) The finish line is situated between squares 120 and 121. There are no lanes. All cyclists start on square 0.
6. There are two sprint finish lines. The first is situated between squares 40 and 41. The second between squares 90 and 91.
7. The first 8 cyclists past a sprint finish. line score points as follows:
1st: 10 points. 2nd: 8 .3rd: 6. 4th: 5. 5th: 4. 6th: 3. 7th: 2. 8th: 1.
8. The first 9 cyclists past the finish line score points as follows: 1st: 20 points. 2nd: 16. 3rd: 12, 4th: 10. 5th: 8, 6th: 6. 7th: 4. 8th: 2.
9. Places in the sprints and at the finish are decided on a first past the post basis (see 14-15). not furthest past the post.
10. Each turn, every cyclist plays one card from their hand. The cyclist moves forward the same number of squares as the value of the card. Once played. the card is not returned. but is replaced with a new card.
11. The new card is determined by counting the number of cyclists in an 'unbroken string' in front of the cyclist (not counting those on the same square) and adding 3 to that number.
12. An 'unbroken string' is a group of cyclists occupying every square of a section of track. The string is broken by an empty square.
13. If. however, a cyclist is leading the field on his own (even by one square). he is said to have broken away. His new card is equal to the number of squares he is in front of the second place cyclist(s). If still in the lead on the next turn, he gets a 3.
14. Movement is processed from the front of the field to the back. In the event of two or more cyclists occupying the same square, their order of movement is determined by the order in which they arrived at the square. For the very first turn, Grade A cyclists move first, followed by B then C then D cyclists.
15. Thus early on in the game, some cyclists will arrive at squares simultaneously. Where this happens the cyclists move simultaneously and share any points gained that turn equally.
16. It is possible for a cyclist to get dropped by the pack. It is usually obvious when this happens and the controlling player need not continue to order for that cyclist.
17. At the end of the race. the team with the most points is the winner. In the case of a tie. the team involved in the tie with the highest finishing cyclist wins.
18. If a player NMRs (doesn't send orders) his cyclists all play their highest available card that turn.
19. Players should supply a name for their team and each of their cyclists. And, hopefully, a graphic. - Nizz
20. Optional rules:
On turn 1 only. if there are four or more cyclists on the same square then the square in front of them is treated as an empty square for the purposes of replacement card values.
No rider may receive a replacement card higher than 15.
Instead of using the order that riders arrive at a square to determine order of movement, the rider's rank (A, B, C or D) is always used.
I'm not in a big rush, but if we could get six people together for it quickly enough I may move it up on the priority list.
Notion I had to make the "Track" for Breaking Away using a Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet and drawn objects as the racing team markers11:06 AM
Peter Card - "Secret Diary of a BPA Board Member"
Bill Ramsay - "Did you know they chose Ritual Torture as the theme for this party, John? We're totally overdressed!"
Matt Foster - "Few of Pierre’s dinner guests were mollified by his attempt to discipline the domestic staff. In this New France, serving the cheese BEFORE dessert was simply unacceptable."
T. Johnston - John decides to punishes Elaine after she over-clipped the counters to his (formerly) mint copy of "DNO"
Gary Christiansen - "Recent additions to the Masonic rituals brought more members than ever to the fold."
"It turned out a fatal error for Mike since Melonie knew where he slept."
"Bondage and sado-masochism seems to sell Madame Ponderoi's House services almost as well as Black & White SS counters sell wargames."
"Thank you Sir, may I have another?"
David Fox - "Chains and whips, always with the chains and whips. What is it with you people ? Call me old-fashioned, but I still prefer a nice quick rattle in the upstairs pantry with the chambermaid."
Jason Schmidt - "The secret life of Tor Johnson."
"In a bid to revive flagging ratings the WWE takes it's Saturday night wrestling program to the next level."
"Brian Blad teaches an errant eBay seller the finer points of morality, ethics, and honesty."
"Lacking a dead horse, CSWers were forced to flog whatever came near."
Paul Wegner - Mr. Clean takes a second job.
John Slotwinski - The Pleasantville Country Club took the Rules of Golf very seriously. Ellen vowed to never improve her lie again.
Morris Hadley - "Forget my caption entry will you? I'll whip the forgetfulness right out of you, you wig-wearing, squirrelly caption-forgetter you!" panted Joe as he lashed into Walt's defenseless, creamy flesh in an uncontrolled frenzy of unconsummated, artistic captionation. While the rest of the O'Hara Blog huddled, speechless clutching their diet Dr. Peppers- all thoughts of E-Bay fraud or turded maps forgotten by the vehemence and passion of Steadman's outburst." *** FIRST PLACE ***
Charles Vasey - For God's sake tip properly this time, Ronald; they're damnably excitable in here.
Klaus Knechtskern - "AP upper management echelon assures that the graphic artist will deliver better map graphics the next time"
James Spurny - "Reginald, dahling, perhaps we should hire this Martian torturer for little Suzy's birthday party next week. The children didn't care for Binky the clown last year, and Suzy does so need to learn a girl's lot in life..."
Dirk Heinz - "I'll show you 'specially revised and edited'"
Karen Spurny - "Does Xxyxyx realise how passe that is? Zorro used that for a calling card years ago."
Joe Steadman - "Radio Commercial: Coming this fall, staring Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, a movie so ground breaking it was made illegal in Utah....Eyes Wide Shut II: The Dungeon"
"Adult Movie: Unibrow Jeremy and Little Debbie star in Bondage Love Slave Part 5"
"Woman in red-dress: Oh, Stanly can I be next?"
"Woman in bottom left corner thinks to herself, “maybe going out with Paris and Linds was a bad idea….”
"Man all the way back peeking in: “Wow, Walt and Gary do throw a great party!” "
Eva Bellambi - The cocktail party guests watched in horror (and some with strange attraction) as Mr. Clean stripped Mrs. Hanscomb-Forbes right there in the parlor and began disciplining her for the use of Pine Sol cleaner during her preparations for the evening. *** THIRD PLACE ***
Otto Schmidt - "(woman in red dress in background) "No one wears the same dress as me to MY party!"
"Though the designers of Mayfair Games had no doubt that it would boost sales they passed on this cover for their large series of linked Board games about World War II."
"In the lair of Zorro's arch rival Xerox."
"Fascist Foreplay- or What do Women REALLY Want?" by Benito Mussolini.
"This time Jerry Springer went too far!"
"So outrageous had Cynthia's behaviour been that the network decided merely voting her off the island was not enough!" *** SECOND PLACE ***
"Big Brother- After Dark!"
"Stirred not Shaken is how Mr. Bondage wants his Martini's"
7:29 AM
Bastards for Hire
You know, I could do this job.. and that's scarey, that someone thought of a way to make money off of it!By Mitch WagnerHmmm.. Maybe I'll send them my c.v.
InformationWeekWed Jun 27, 7:06 PM ET
Worried about long lines to buy an iPhone on Friday? A San Francisco man said he and his band of pranksters will create a diversion to distract everybody else in line and allow you to slide right up to the front.
The company -- called "Over Here, Jerks!" -- will go to Apple or AT&T stores and release a wild animal, let loose a bad smell, or do something else disgusting, shocking, or scary. The plan: Everybody in line runs away, except for the company's client, who'll be first up for service.
"You might even have time to grab a few lawn chairs, sleeping bags, and sandwiches amid the mayhem!" according to the group's Craigslist ad.
The company will work Market Street in San Francisco, charging $50 for the first three attempts and $10 for each additional attempt. "It's like a text-messaging plan," said organizer Matt Grimmer of San Francisco, who works by day as a biologist and cancer researcher.
The group includes amateur magicians, people who work at a petting zoo, and people with skills in camouflage techniques.
The iPhone event is just the launch of the company, which plans to go into business creating divisions for other events, Grimmer said.
"If you're bad at chess, if you want to get your neighbor back for something, you can hire us," he said. "We won't get involved in a crime, but we'll create a diversion to give people an opportunity to do what they need to do."
This will be the company's professional debut at causing diversions. Past attempts, done for love rather than money, included dressing a man up in a banana suit and having him fake a seizure at a high school graduation, Grimmer said.
"We wanted to cause a goof to get people distracted to mess up the order of things while it was going on," Grimmer said. "When there's a number of people walking in a group, we thought we could throw one little hitch into the ceremony and the whole thing collapses."
He added, "It wasn't as successful as we'd like it to be, but we started talking about it, and we're confident we can do better."
For one thing, the company plans to incorporate animals into its diversions, rather than people in costumes. For another, it plans to cause multiple diversions in rapid succession.
"We'll put a dirty diaper on someone's back, and get someone to yell, then get something disgusting or frightening coming from another direction. Nothing harmful. Play on people's weaknesses for about 10 seconds, that's all it takes," Grimmer said.
-- Copyright, 2007, Information Week
1:17 PM
Rube Goldberg would be very very proud...
I saw mention of this on another blog and felt inclined to post on it.. I have fond memories of "Rube Goldberg" cartoons from the Sunday funnies... this is the closest I've ever seen to a real life interpertation..
Go ahead and click it. You KNOW you want to...
10:04 PM
Spring 01 Results
Ominious Moves in the Balkans.
Armies on the March
Spring Maneuvers for the British Fleet
Clash in the Tyrol!
Armed Standoff in the Black Sea!
Here are the the moves BEFORE RESOLUTION:
Austria:
A Budapest - Serbia
F Trieste - Albania
A Vienna - Budapest
England:
F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea
A Liverpool - Yorkshire
F London - North Sea
France:
F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean
A Marseilles - Spain
A Paris - Burgundy
Germany:
A Berlin - Kiel
F Kiel - Denmark
A Munich - Tyrolia
Italy:
F Naples - Ionian Sea
A Rome - Apulia
A Venice - Tyrolia
Russia:
A Moscow - Ukraine
F Sevastopol - Black Sea
F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia
A Warsaw Hold
Turkey:
F Ankara - Black Sea
A Constantinople - Bulgaria
A Smyrna - Constantinople
MAP:
RESOLUTION:
Austria:
A Budapest - Serbia
F Trieste - Albania
A Vienna - Budapest
England:
F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea
A Liverpool - Yorkshire
F London - North Sea
France:
F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean
A Marseilles - Spain
A Paris - Burgundy
Germany:
A Berlin - Kiel
F Kiel - Denmark
A Munich - Tyrolia (*Bounce*)
Italy:
F Naples - Ionian Sea
A Rome - Apulia
A Venice - Tyrolia (*Bounce*)
Russia:
A Moscow - Ukraine
F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*)
F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia
A Warsaw Hold
Turkey:
F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*)
A Constantinople - Bulgaria
A Smyrna - Constantinople
RESOLUTION GRAPHIC:
SITUATION AT END OF TURN:
BREAKING NEWS:
From His Holiness the Tsar of All the Russias:
To my dear cousins.
It is the start of a new and glorious age. Out with the nineteenth century and in with the twentieth! We welcome a new, golden age of brotherhood and peace. It is by
thoughtful Diplomacy that nations advance in stature and maturity. Let us show
the world how Europeans settle their differences, and grow the human race on and on.
The future holds nothing but promise as science and reason blaze new
paths for mankind. In Russia, we welcome all of these great changes as benefits to
mankind, and add our pious hope that we can aid all of our great countries toward one, unified path to the future.
From the Sublime Porte:My honest friends.
I have been busy in my harem the last couple of days to find divine joy and to ensure that the heirs of the great Ottoman empire are innumerable.
I will address your diplomatic dispatches separately in the next couple of hours but furthermost let me ensure you that despite the fact that vast parts of Europe are following the wrong faith we bear no animosities against our dear friends the rulers of Europe.
Mehmed V, Defender of the Faith
From Otto Von Bismarck, Foreign Minister, German Empire:I must apologize for the uncharacteristic tardiness of my missives. however I have been having a devil of a time dealing with a problem in the Duchy of Strachenz. Seems some cheeky English fellow has been impersonating the Crown Prince of Denmark for the past few months, and now the sordid details are becoming known. Fortunately, I have instructed our armed forces to take matters into our own hands, and settle this pesky Schleswig-Holstein question once and for all. You know how annoying these upstart nations are.
Time to visit Copenhagen.
In the meantime, your foreign offices all should have received communiques from mine this evening. If you have not seen them, please let me know. I am a bit concerned about my cultural brothers-in-law to my southeast, but perhaps those damned vampires cut the telegraph cables again...they really
must improve on the infrastructure in the Balkans, you know...
In the meantime, my offices are now open. Look forward to hearing from you all.
OvB
News Flash from the Österreich Journal, Vienna, Spring 1901
In a brilliantly successful move, our Armed Forces have begun the occupation
of the Balkan States in order to create a buffer between us and the Turks.
Our Fleet has successfully occupied Albania and our Armies now control
Serbia.
We are highly concerned the movement of Turkish forces northward in to
Bulgaria. We are concerned that this may signal the start of an aggressive
movement north into areas that we consider to be within our sphere of
influence.
Of even more concern is the obviously belligerent tact taken by our
friends(?) from the North. In a move that is obviously designed to provoke
us, they have moved their Army into the Ukraine. This is definitely a move
that could have far reaching consequences on Russo-Austrian relations. Our
diplomats will be burning the midnight oil to defuse this situation. More
to follow.
Finally, the people in our western provinces are wondering what is happening
with our German neighbors, the attempted occupation of the Tyrol would have
threatened both of our provinces of Vienna and Trieste and could provoke the
Italians. This could lead to all out conflict in central Europe.
Karl von Faber
Special Correspondent,
Österreich Journal
2:54 PM
Because it's interesting
Click on it.. You KNOW you want to.
10:32 AM
Pulp Captions, Round 6 Results
The Entries
David Fox - "Stand back, young and comely barefoot maiden, whilst I defend thee from Mazo de la Roche and the evil Right Margin with my incredibly long yet supple rapier !"
Dave Townsend - "Oh, sure, Dejah Thoris gets that hunky John Carter. Who shows up to rescue me? Don Quixote!"
Matt Foster - "You are fascinated, senorita, yes? By the slow, rhythmic movements of my long, pointy sword, yes? You suspect some form of psychological compensation for my sexual inadequacies, yes? Yesssss? Yes! We are Spaniards and we massacre your people because our weenies are too small!" ** SECOND PLACE **
John Slotwinski - "¿Es eso una espada o es usted solamente feliz verme?"
Charles Vasey - "The Eurythmics Spanish Tour was not going quite as planned"
Gary Christiansen - "You are aware of course the size of the manhood equates to the length of his sword?"
"What do you mean human sacrifice?"
"Just like a guy, too armored up to move when I'm in the mood."
"Alberto not only wasn't very good at telling the maidens from the warriors, but his aim with the toad sticker wasn't too good either."
Paul Wegner - "I might be the Sun Virgin but even I know when a man is compensating for something with a long sword".
John Vasilakos - Woman: "Honey, does this skirt make me look fat?
Man: ".Sorry...what did you say dear?...I was trying out my new sword" ** FIRST PLACE **
T. Johnston - Running Deer sadly thought: I guess they are sissy Spaniards. ** THIRD PLACE **
Peter Stein - Deanna tried everything to get Rob to pay more attention to her and stop playing that stupid Cortes game every night.
Jason Schmidt - "Even after Richard and Schatzi dressed up in exotic costumes and initiated dominance roleplaying there was no saving the Berg marriage."
"Rudy Canoza is the King of Latin Lingerie! Canoza's Lingerie on Melrose and Pico, open 7 days a week!"
Ian Wedge - The cultural exchange mission was going so well, Pablo decided to wow them with his rendition of the "Hokey Cokey".
Karen Spurny - "I wonder if those puffy pants would make my butt look big."
Peter Card - "Get lost Juan, I'm working here, and and this is ~my~ deer-trail corner"
Congratulations to the Big Big Weiners!
7:21 AM
Map of the United States in Lego on the Mall
On Sunday, Gar and I took in the giant MAP OF THE UNITED STATES project being built on the mall in front of the capital building, as part of the ongoing Children's Festival and Annual Folk Life Festival. We didn't know until we arrived, but it was more than an observation event. the Lego folks were actively encouraging builders of all types to kick in a few tiles for the ongoing map. Legos are just nuts to Gar and I so we commneced to building.
I managed (barely) to get out a "Mount Vernon" while Gar built an Aztec/Mayan Pyramid, an American flag, and various other tidbits rapidly. Perhaps the engineering talent skipped a generation!
 | Cool Slideshows! |
We had a lovely time and think this was a fantastic event. Afterward we goofed about in the National Gallery Fountain and Sculpture Garden. A pleasant day!
12:26 PM
One MILLLION Dollars...
-- Doctor Evil, "Austin Powers: Man of Mystery"
Just for your visual reference, the above boodle is ONE MILLION of something. In this case, dollars. A million is a hard number for us to grasp, so this graphic might help. Even so, it's a bit of a cheat, looking at one million dollars, as these are bundles of 100 dollar bills. A more accurate graphic would be a pile of one million single dollar bills. I suspect it would be quite the graphic, but I've yet to find one.
Speaking of a million, there is a gentleman named "Harper" that has taken time off to explore the concept of 1,000,000 rather intimately. He is counting to one million, LIVE, on streaming video, at this website. Alas, it does not allow linking, so the stack of Benjamins above will have to do for my representational proxy. In any event, it's worth a look. For some reason, I'm finding it highly addictive to watch him mumbling out the count.
12:29 PM
Pulp Captions, Round 5 Results
The picture for Last Contest comes from THRILLING MYSTERY MAGAZINE, originally printed in August of 1936! I would have hoped for a better showing.... bondage, large phallic object, helpless male shouting something...Oh well.
Gary Christiansen: "(in honor of Barbarella) "See? Duran-Duran is not the only one to create an orgasmatron torture device!"
David Fox: "You kids have it too easy these days. When I was your age and I wanted a good artificial suntan I had to tie myself up and crawl- crawl ! - through the machine. And just look at all this protective gear. I used to run the tanning machine 20 hours a day wearing nothing more than a pair of sunglasses and a lead jockstrap. We didn't have any of that sissy stuff like skin cancer back in those days, nosireebob."
Ian Wedge: "No need for concern, miss. 100% safety track record on this new NMR scanning machine. Hold on a second."
Peter Card: "Gosh darn it Queenie, did you have to crack wise with the spaceport security droid?" **** SECOND PLACE ****
Jonathan Gingerich: "Canadian healthcare left a bit to be desired" **** THIRD PLACE ****
Matt Foster: "As the pneumatic orifice enlarger drowned out Rachel’s screams, Rex sadly admitted to himself that calling Dr. Phallos a “dickhead” had been a VERY bad idea."
Bill Ramsay: "One look at the "technician" was all Mary needed to realize she was doomed. No way this was an MRI."
Dirk Heinz: "Wally and James were thrilled that their transmogifier had produced a living girl. The rest of the chess club would be so jealous."
Klaus Knechtskern: "Now the next experiment of the Aliens getting hang of that immaculate conception thing.."
Jason Schmidt: "In a blatant violation of every Federation Directive known Kirk rigged the replicator to begin the systematic mass-production of his so-called 'Intergalactic Bitches.'"
"Thrilling Tales of Magnetic Resonance Imaging! Pre-cancerous growths are no match for the Amazing Science of the Future!"
Karen Spurny: "Hi there, folks, and welcome to the show. I'm Ron Popeil; and for the next half hour, I'll be demonstrating the Soylent Green Tenderizer home model by Ronco. That's right, you can make Soylent Green in you own home. Just "set it, and forget it." **** FIRST PLACE ****
T. Johnston: "Bride of Frankenstein '36"
Robin Griller: "As he watched his one true love slide into the infernal death machine mandated by the bureaucrats at his HMO, Tex knew that she'd have been saved if only he'd cast the deciding vote in *favour* of single-payer health care!"
11:10 AM
A New Sense of Optimism
I think we've broken through the malaise here..Election Results were OFFICIALLY announced today. This is a quote from James Curtis, Head of the Elections Committee.
To all HMGS East Members,I wish to extend my thanks and congratulations to the candidates SIMPLY for the act of standing up to be counted, and that means ALL of them, even those that did not win. Your dedication and willingness to actually do something is recognized by the rest of us. And to the winners, Bon Chance. I think you are all a good, convivial mix and we expect good things from you.
First and foremost, I want to thank the election committee (Don Manser, John
Snead, Mitch Osborne) for their assistance in running the election. Second, I
also want to thank all the candidates who tossed their hats into the ring to
volunteer time and effort in running our organization over the next two years.
With that said: Please join me in congratulating Heather Blush, John Drye,
Dudley Garidel, & Mike Pierce as our newest elected Board of Directors.
I am happy to present the election results as follows:
CANDIDATE
VOTE COUNT
HEATHER BLUSH
214
JOHN DRYE
249
DUDLEY GARIDEL
219
JAMES MATTES
140
DAN McDONAGH
188
MIKE PIERCE
245
WRITE IN CANDIDATES
FRANK PREZIOSA
38
GEOFF GRAFF
4
MIKE HILLSGROVE
3
OTHERS WITH 2 VOTES
2
OTHERS WITH 1 VOTE
24
The referendum results are as follow:
REFERENDUM VOTE
COUNT
ONE
YES 243
NO 98
TWO
YES 254
NO 88
THREE
YES 229
NO 113
1:19 PM
Rise of the Silver Surfer
Gar and I took in a matinee last Saturday.
Typical Sequelitis stuff is creeping in, and it's all very predictable: Sue and Reed wanna get married, see, and have a normal life. The same superhero angst that Spiderman II investigates (and made that movie so good, where in this movie it's only familiar territory). Stresses ensue. The Silver Surfer shows up, and reminds 'em that his job is to herald destruction. Yikes, we better get our (humanity) act together, etc., work together for all mankind, etc, get betrayed, etc...
One thing I'm starting to notice is that the cutesie idea of adding a Stan Lee cameo to every single movie made from a Marvel plotline is starting to lose it's visual power. I mean, c'mon, all of us comic book geeks knew who he was in the first place, right? And a whole other generation is watching So You Want to Be a Superhero these days. Do you really think Stan is all that anonymous anymore? Sheesh! Still, his "product placement" was a nice riff on the whole Hitchcockian "my image must be in every story" concept-- I won't give it away but he kind of gets short shrift (and even refers to himself by his given name, instead of a kindly stranger giving the hero some advice). Excelsior, Stan!
Galactus, whom the Surfer works for or worked for in the Marvel timeline... well, in THIS movie, he's a bit of a disappointment, visually. I was hoping for something like the one pictured. The movie version was a giant turd-colored cloud (I'm not giving that away, btw, you can see it in all the previews). On the plus side, they NAILED the Silver Surfer, right down to solemn Lawrence Fishburne voice over.
The plot result was, eh, kind of predictable, right down to the big "faux sacrifice" ending-- but there was more depth in evidence in both the performances AND the storyline. I actually enjoyed it, for what it was.. which is a comic book movie Gar cajoled me into taking him to.
10:26 AM
Game 2: Ministry Commences
Gentlemen: it is spring 1901. The map is as it is at start:
I shall work out when your first moves are due, but plan on approximately one week from now, if possible.
Until then, the telegraphs are open and you may converse freely.
Please CC: me on EVERY correspondence with another player, no matter how well you know him. Thanks
Also, I would like opening statements from ALL PLAYERS if possible... you know the drill.. "It is the position of the Tsar that we are all freedom loving peoples and we wish to protect our interests and arrive at a mutual accord and blah blah blah..."
Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.
The Moderator
10:21 AM
Pulp Captions 4: City of Glass
Matt Foster: Glass, Harold. GLASS. Get it? But nooooooo, you had to be the smartass with a BB-gun. *** HM ***
"If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times: People who live in glass cities shouldn't sh*t bricks!"
Gary Christiansen: "Karen, James and Walt simply could not escape the Forum of Glass."
"Like most citizens of CSW, no one noticed outside the city there was nothing but ugly pastel yellow desert."
"Why did you say we had to go so far out of town to have this threesome?"
"So tell me again, why did you take the curtains?" *** HM ***
David Fox: George, while running in third place, would have better appreciated his ability to look up Diana's miniskirt had Fred not taken the lead in his ghastly clingy lavender shorts. *** SECOND PLACE ***
Bill Ramsay: "Hey, if we live in a glass city, what are we breathing out here?" *** FIRST PLACE ***
Morris Hadley: "Forced perspective, figures in action, hands exposed and gripping objects, this cover would demand all of Noel's artistic talent and then some."
Klaus Knechtskern: "You are perfectly sure there are no rocket worms out here?"
Jonathan Gingerich: "I told you not to throw stones!"
Peter Stein: "Now look where the Glass City is! Will you stop and ask somebody for directions?"
Jason Schmidt: "After twelve years on the run, pursued through six systems and across half-again as many planets, the Replicants finally found themselves at the mercy of the dreaded Imperial Fashion Police."
"The future of the Crystal City at stake, three intrepid explorers set out across a hostile and merciless desert in search of a Squeegee." *** THIRD PLACE ***
Charles Vasey: "Are you sure it's in this direction?"
Ian Wedge: Despite being given the starting gun, Hank could never resist joining the race.
Grant Whitley: "New South Beach proved to be even more sinister than Bartertown. The three wanderers grabbed a bag each of hotpants and ruffled pastel shirts and made their escape into the nuclear desert".
Karen Spurny: "You just had to tell them we don't do windows, didn't you, Margaret?"
Peter Card: The gallant trio's hopes for a clean get-away were dashed when they found that an overnight mustardstorm had deposited a inch of pungent condiment on the Painted Wastes of Karmakarmakamalian. *** HM ***
10:17 AM
DIPLO: Ministry Sets Up
Setting up our Second Diplomacy Game here, I am naming this game "The Ministry of Silly Walks" or "Ministry" for short.
Rather than try a cobbled together PBM dice server approach to selecting countries, or that "Diplo Country Chooser" thing I did in Cyberboard, I decided to take the absurdly simple approach.
Here are the players, all of whom have confirmed there interest in playing. Emails obscured.
JAMES SPURNY US/TX jspurny@xxx
KLAUS KNECHTSKERN GE klaus@xxx
MIKE REED US/IL reedmt5@xxx
ANDY TURLINGTON US/MD andrewturlington@xxx
RICH LOW US/VA rjlow11@xxx
IAN SCHOFIELD CA/SK exrex@xxx
DENNIS LARGESSE US/MD besilarius@xxx
Filling Classic Diplomacy positions:
ENGLAND
RUSSIA
FRANCE
GERMANY
ITALY
AUSTRIA/HUNGARY
TURKEY
Method:
I simply wrote down E,R,F,G,I,A/H, and T on a piece of paper, and chits with player's initials, and randomly drew them out of a cup in the order presented above. This process yielded THIS
RESULT:
ENGLAND - Andy Turlington
RUSSIA - Dennis Largesse
FRANCE - Ian Schofield
GERMANY - Mike Reed (not a repeat position)
ITALY - James Spurny (not a repeat position)
AUSTRIA/HUNGARY - Rich Low
TURKEY - Klaus Knechtskern
Now, if everyone trusts that this was done in a relatively random and honest manner, THESE ARE OUR COUNTRY ASSIGNMENTS.
You may attempt to broker a swap if you like, before the first turn. But only if both parties agree via email and I am CC'd to the transaction at hotspur@xxx. (you know how to reach me, players)
If you don't like my random method, please say so now, and I'll try to cobble something together using a PBM dice server or cyberboard. Thanks!
We will aim for a turn a week. I will be flexible on Real Life issues, including my own, up to a point. Diplomacy will transpire during that week. Diplomacy must transpire over email. I will promulgate an address for Diplomacy emails to be CC'd to-- I don't want the hotspur mailbox to fill up. Once the moves have been made and ajudicated, I will post results and news on this blog, so that the map image can be viewed by all. I will copy to Consimworld as well, as many players have accounts there, in the "So a guy walks into a bar, see" blog.
Thanks for your interest, and let's have a good game.
GAME STATUS: PRE-GAME COUNTRY SELECTION
MAP STATUS: PER GRAPHIC
Future Graphics will be generated by RealPolitikNEWS: None
3:06 PM
PULP CAPTIONS
ROUND 3 RESULTS!
Today's Illustration: Fast Action Detective, 1957
Captions:
Bill Ramsay - "I'm telling you, this is the best way for you to get back to Norway" **THIRD**
Ian Wedge - "The so called mystery of the red-headed slaymate turned out to be an open and shut case."
Matt Foster - "For a leggy, well-built broad you must weigh a TON!"
"Bob never imagined his snarky comment about Helen's troublesome static cling would give rise to the Legend of the Gimp." **SECOND**
David Fox - "Waaait a minute, if you're not the Red-Headed Slaymate or Homicide's Heiress, that must make me... the Amorous Corpse ??! Nooooooooooooooooooo"
Charles Vasey - "Bergey's plan of a designer in every box of "Storm of Stuff" was not proving popular with Avalanche Liz". **FIRST**
Pat Osika - "Game night takes on a whole new meaning at the Spurny household..."
Paul Wegner - "Hey! When you said you wanted to show me your box, this isn't what I expected."
Karen Spurny - "Honey, when I said, 'You have nice junk in the trunk,' it was a compliment. Really!"
James Spurny - "These Eurogame boxes are so hard to close."
"So that's where box farts come from."
Gary Christiansen - "When Harry Met Sally goes terribly wrong."
Peter Stein - The guys might laugh at me if they ever see this picture. But if I get some, I'll have the last laugh!"
Jonathan Gingerich - "There were a few issues to work out with the new $150 flat rate Priority Boxes..."
Peter Card - How big will my bum look after I lock the lid and throw away the key you sonnavabitch?
Mike Reed - "Stephanie from Lazytown grows up...and takes revenge..."
Jason Schmidt - "Al Gore's wife shows him what 'Lockbox' really means."
"Kate found her Inflatable Love Stud a bit too real."
"Oh, so that's how you get 900 people on the Airbus A-380!"
2:04 PM
It made me smile
No, this is not a photo of me in the reenacting days.
2:45 PM
Battle of Honey Springs
From LPD Games
Lawrence Duffield (the one man in the one man band that is LPD Games) has offered up a rather nice looking free game on his webserver, LPD Games: http://www.lpdgames.com/index.html The new company has yet to release any commercial products, but at least four of them will be available in July of this year: Gettysburg, Across the Wide Missouri, Grant's Early Battles, and The Battle of Honey Springs (Deluxe Version).
The graphics and presentation of the material is top notch; I could follow the rules (from a quick glance online), rather easily. The graphics and use of color would rival any commercial product now being published, and has a certain "Clash of Arms" look to it. I find the finished games (available in July) to be a bit out of my personal price range at 56 dollars (prepurchase price), but the quality is certainly there to justify the sticker price.
Best of all, the regular (non-deluxe) version of Honey Springs is available for free download, here: http://www.lpdgames.com/gamehsbacw.html. The game is presented as a PDF download and will require some construction. A Cyberboard gamebox is also available for PBEM.
I love free downloadable wargames (duh), but one of this quality is a rare bird. I suggest you snap it up.
12:00 PM
Al Roker, you hypocrite!
Al Roker On Epilepsy - In case you missed the June 7th TODAY show on NBC, during which Al Roker made what some might call 'inappropriate' comments about epilepsy and the 2012 Olympic logo, you may want to check out the following link for the audio on media.putfile. Thank you, folks, for hosting this.
"Remember that controversial Olympic logo for the 2012 Olympics in London? Some folks have complained that the campaign actually sent them into epileptic seizures," Roker said.
"Well, we asked you to weigh in on our Web site in an informal poll; those of you who could get up off the floor after shaking around were able to actually log in . . . " Roker continued
Roker was QUITE OUTSPOKEN about Don Imus for his mistatements that ultimately got him fired from his job at MSNBC and WFAN. His specific statements were legion, but can be boiled down to citing“context within a comedy show” is not an excuse". (Quote: Al Roker's personal blog, MSNBC.MSN.COM. Follow the link to read the bulk of his statement about why Don Imus had to resign or be fired) .
Roker later apologized.
"I started joking about it. I want to make this clear - I was not joking about epilepsy or anyone who suffers from epilepsy," he said at around 8:04 a.m. while he was delivering a weather report from Milwaukee.
"We understand and know that this is a serious affliction and would never joke about that.
"We were joking about the logo - not about epilepsy. If anybody was offended, I heartily and really humbly apologize."
Now, I ask you. WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE??? It's okay to fire Imus for his blatant insult to women of color, and not accept his apology (according to Roker, see link above). YET! The numerous sufferers of epileptic seizures in this country must accept Roker's apology, weak as it is.
To paraphrase Roker's own words:
Yes, Al Roker needs to be fired for what he said.
The “I was merely joking about the Olympic Logo, not epilepsy” apology doesn’t cut it. At least he didn’t try to weasel out of this by hiding behind alcohol or drug abuse. Still, he said it and he won't have to pay for it at all. For Al Roker, nothing.
The general manager of Cartoon Network resigned after a publicity stunt went wrong and caused a panic in Boston. He did the right thing. Al Roker should do the right thing and resign. Not talk about taking a two-week suspension with dignity. I don’t think Al Roker gets it.
NOTE BENE: I'm not serious about this suggestion. It's hardly just to throw Roker under the bus for a stupid mistake when I'm railing against him for collusion with the forces that did the same thing to Imus.
However, if your'e upset about hypocrisy, call this number: 212-664-4444. It's the switchboard number for MSNBC. Call them and ask if Al Roker will be held to the same standard that Don Imus was.
Long Live Free Speech!
12:42 PM
Atari!
No, not an old video game system, it's a technical term for "Capture" in one of the oldest boardgames known to man, GO. For an introduction to the game, visit this website.
Last year, at TriaDCon 2006, the University of Maryland sponsored a GO games workshop, run by Mr. John Goon. The event was a big success and will be repeated again this year! For details, view the TriaDCon GO page: http://www.triadcon.org/go.php
Thank you, Mr. Goon, and Mr. Neil Bernardo, for running this event at TriaDCon. We hope you get many players!!!
For more on TriaDCon: http://www.triadcon.org
10:42 AM
Super Detective
Over on Consimworld, we're running the weekly PULP CAPTION contest, once a week. Here's the latest results!
Last Week's Contest came from the cover of SUPER DETECTIVE STORIES, in 1945!
Results:
Jason Schmidt
"Tom's bionic hand seemed like a fantastic idea until he had to scratch his nipple."
** FIRST PLACE **
"Sascha, I tried to warn you that sleeping with Vasily Zaytsev's wife was a bad idea!"
** SECOND PLACE **
"Thrilling Detective Stories presents Killer Cholesterol!"
Mike Reed
Shot in the heart...and you're to blame....you give love, a bad name..."
Bill Ramsay
"Wow, his gun is so much bigger than yours, Lou."
Morris Hadley
Good heavens! Your...your...monthly...flow... [agonized] It burns. It BURNS.
Matt Foster
"You men are all the same. Compensate by using a bigger GUN."
"Dammit, Ronald! That's not what I meant by 'money shot'." ** THIRD PLACE **
Gary Christiansen
"Some men never get the message. I said ONE sadist. Two Guns and one bound woman never works out. Okay, pass me a cigarette."
Dave Fox
"Dammit, dear, would you please learn to duck ? This is the last time I am cleaning blood off that shirt !"
Peter Stein
They don't look like they're in bed.
12:24 PM
Forget the power of technology, science and common humanity. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for there is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods.
But the universe is a big place and, whatever happens, you will not be missed...
And in closing...
Just remember that your standing on a planet that's evolving, and revolving at nine hundred miles an hour...
That's orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it's reckoned,
the sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
are moving at a million miles a day.
in an outer spiral-arm at forty thousand miles an hour
of the galaxy we call the Milky Way.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars,
it's a hundred thousand lightyears side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand lightyears thick,
but out by us it's just three thousand lightyears wide.
We're thirty thousand lightyears from galactic central point, we go 'round every two hundred million years.
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions,
in this amazing and expanding universe.
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
in all of the directions it can whiz.
As fast as it can go, that's the speed of light you know;
twelve million miles a minute, that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember when your feeling very small and insecure,
how amazingly unlikely is your birth,
and pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'cause there's bugger-all down here on earth!
-- Monty Python, THE MEANING OF LIFE
11:22 AM
This movie...
Sucked so HARD I got pulled from my seat!
Three hours of pretentious, meandering, self important dialogue that serves as a framework for the latest Brukenheimermania "Money Shot" effects orgasm.
I actually fell asleep. Many times, even with kids prodding me. Overlong, boring, overhyped, badly shot, confusing plot, amateurish storyline. And Keira Knightly is neither much to look at or even remotely anything other than wooden in this thing. I suppose I should give her points for being a pirate's dream (possessing a sunken chest), but why go there, I ask you? (Ah thenk yew!) The thespian accomplishments of one O. Bloom aren't going to make anyone other than my 12 year old daughter take notice, but the other star of this romp, Depp, is getting that "I'm phoning it in to pay for my French Chateau" look these days. The only highlight was seeing Keith Richards (I think) briefly, as Depp's character's father.
What's not to like? Well, er, all of it. I wept for the lost hours, and there were many. I winced that they were clearly setting up another movie at the end. Egad.
