2:40 PM
Upsets!
Wikipedia must have been humming this lunch hour. I got answers from our two holdouts, Drey and Klaus. Here are the results!
Some explanations: I received about three "Talking ____" (animal) as a race choice, and informed the players that I wasn't accepting "Talking...." as an answer for race. It's too broad.
Tolkien was a bit of a "gimme" after all the grousing about Dickens, to demonstrate that even Lord Quizzmaster is capable of pity. No surprises for "Inklings".
I was actually expecting TROLLS (Peter C's answer) for "Fantasy Race" and got Telemarines instaead. Oh well, you can't predict these things.
Almost everyone chose Tumnus for "Good", again this was fairly obvious I should think. Evil was a little harder for even ME to come up with, but I found TASH in the LAST BATTLE and I knew there was at least one good answer. I didn't even think of TISROC.
I was actually thinking THULCANDRA as the first choice but I once again had forgotten about TELEMAR from Prince Caspian.
I figured TWO Tolkien "gimmes" were Two Too Much. So I excluded Tolkien (JRR) from the last category. I had never heard of Tynan, but Tangry-Lean does show up on a website somewhere so I knew a T answer was possible.
Next week: Start Reading SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE, because we delve into the works of Kurt Vonnegutt.
I'm getting a little suspicious of Mike Reed here. He's tied Drey in ALMOST every round!!!
The other person to watch is Mr. Low. From a late start he is already pulling ahead of the last place player and will soon overtake second to last.
6:52 AM
Film Noir Zombie Killing
Richard Serrao's MEMENTO MORI is available in serialized fashion, FREE, at the rate of a few panels every couple days or so.
The series artwork is very grainy, like a cheap 16mm film stock. The style is sort of a macho action flick overlaid on top of film noir. I rather like it. Certainly it's worth the price. Live from Optimal Wound comics, hosted on the Webcomics Nation website. Click on the splash page above to go there.
2:53 PM
Lovely Parting Gifts, that's What!
Uber-Intelligent comedian Bob Harris did pretty well on Jeopardy a while back; he has archived his experiences on the show (with a primer for preparing for game shows) in a new book THE PRISONER OF TREBECKISTAN. The book is worth a read! Here's Bob demonstrating what you get when you've been on Jeopardy for 8 weeks:
12:51 PM
A freebie from Mister Nizz
One of the greatest old pen and pencil games I can think of is Richard Bartle's WAVING HANDS (1977) a game originally setup to play as a wizardly dueling game. Players BUILD spells with various hand gestures such as SNAP, WAVE, POINT, CLAP,etc. The combinations (both hands handled separately unless they are CLAPping) create spells. In the graphic to the left the BLUE wizard has just succesfully completed casting FEAR with one hand and is almost done with PARALYSIS with his other hand (check the combinations in the rules!).
The hard part is guessing what your opponent is going to do and making the correct accomodations on your end. For instance, if you see a FIREBALL combination building up it might be time to cast a PROTECTION FROM FIRE. I have played it many times-- the game itself (rules, etc.) is found HERE in its original text.
You can play the game semi-interactively with several other people as WARLOCKS on Ravenblack.net, or via email on the FIRETOP MOUNTAIN server. Both are a hoot.
I'm trying something different, by tinkering a little. I used Cyberboard to create a PBeM "gamebox" for Waving Hands that has a crucial difference from the original. The original Waving Hands takes place in "no space".. or a logcial construct where there is no distance between magic users and no relation to a physical plane of existance. That's certainly a workable, fun and interesting game. Just for grins, I added graphical representations to demonstrate the wizards and their summoned creatures fighting on a physical place (a dungeon, in this instance). This adds an element of MOVEMENT to the game that wasn't there before.
This gamebox provides all you'll need to play WAVING HANDS/WARLOCK/SPELLBINDER via cyberboard. A Gamebox, Scenario and "WizardlyDuel" starter Game File are included. There are also amended rules for Play By Email and movement (my changes are in blue) stored in an HTM file. THe original is also provided as a word document. I've played around with it and it's a hoot.
So here's the Gamebox File, enjoy yourselves.
12:14 PM
Time to Energize the Kharma Brigade
I was saddened to hear from Jason Schmidt that the lovely and talented Liz Fulda of Avalanche Press has been diagnosed with Thyroid cancer.
I know, "lovely and talented" is such a hackneyed expression, but I've had some minor conversations with Liz and have admired her diplomacy and aplomb on CONSIMWORLD and selected other forums on the Internet. So she really is lovely and she really is talented. So there!
Thyroid cancer is one of the easier cancers to beat, and I know at least two individuals who have kicked it. So the prognosis is excellent. That doesn't mean Liz is in for an easy time of it as she goes through medical treatment in the months to come. I suspect Liz is fairly private about her personal life but I'm a firm believer in the positive effects of good kharma, the more the better. So if your'e a praying individual, spend a moment saying one for Liz. If not, just think good thoughts. The results will astonish.
"Cancer is an evil Bitch" to quote Jason. Aye, indeed. So the more kharmic help you can send the better the results will be.
Good Luck, Liz!
hey you in the back row! I didn't see you clapping!!!!
10:24 AM
Wheeew. At least there weren't bared breasts in sight. That would have been EVIL
If you follow these things like I do, you've seen this video. It got passed around the Internet like car keys at a swinger party some time back. The video depicted a "surgical removal" (e.g., killing) of insurgents in a big truck, meeting a smaller truck at night. They may or may not have had weapons- it's hard to tell.
At mazimum zoom, it's kind of grainy.
Anyhow I got this notice today:
YouTube
Your video "Taking out some insurgents" has been rejected due to its inappropriate nature. Please refer to our terms of use for more information on what video material is not permitted on YouTube.
— The YouTube Team
Copyright © 2006 YouTube, Inc.
YouTube's TERMS OF USE:
. In connection with User Submissions, you further agree that you will not:
(i) submit material that is copyrighted, protected by trade secret or otherwise subject to third party proprietary rights, including privacy and publicity rights, unless you are the owner of such rights or have permission from their rightful owner to post the material and to grant YouTube all of the license rights granted herein; (ii) publish falsehoods or misrepresentations that could damage YouTube or any third party;
(iii) submit material that is unlawful, obscene, defamatory, libelous, threatening, pornographic, harassing, hateful, racially or ethnically offensive, or encourages conduct that would be considered a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, violate any law, or is otherwise inappropriate;
(iv) post advertisements or solicitations of business:
(v) impersonate another person.
Perhaps there's a point to be made with the third clause, but I don't see it. The pilots in the video weren't hateful. They didn't shout with glee over the prospect of killing Iraqis. They just did a job. I can't see my description as being that much of a "hatemonger" either . Oh well, live and learn. It's their football and they took it home. I can acccept that. But I don't get why me and not so many oheer.
Curious about this one? View it and many others, you'll never guess where!
9:50 AM
BPD as it stands on Thursday
I've not heard from:
Alex McKusker, Drey O'Hara, J.R. Tracy, and Klaus Knechtskern.
Peter Card: You didn't give me an answer for Category 3
Jason Schmidt: You won't score on Category 2 (see previous ruling on "Talking animals"), and you didn't give me an answer for Category 6.
Thanks! Everybody else is received and recorded.
10:42 AM
I'm getting seriously addicted to ADULT SWIM these days...
9:51 AM
This just in!
My friend Allan occassionally sends me a care package out of the past with some product I've never heard of. I received such a package the other day. Inside the box, all unsorted and jumbled up, were the rules to a very old game called BY THE SWORD or By the Sword! (the explanation point being a sword in the title).
The rules were vintage 1980 or so-- close typeset in small font, somehat crude troop list forms, etc. What was of some interest were the die-cut unit markers. It reminded me of a SYSTEM 7 for elves and dwarves and orcs and such.
I've never seen such a thing before. It's intriguing.. and the rules are fairly complete, too. Has anyone else out there heard of this? I believe the company was called Legionairre or TheLegionairre or something like.
Any help would be welcome. If there's anything else about it online, please post a link.. it's as if this thing was published in a black hole.
3:46 PM
Free for the Download
If you're in the laissez-faire mode about games with questionable subjects, then you should not have any problem taking advantage of a great new FREE board wargame download from the designer of the controversial RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE. All that is required is Adobe Acrobat 7.0, an internet connection and a color printer.
Paul Rohrbaugh's brand new FREE DTP style game of armor battle in the middle of Burma.
Prolific game designer Paul Rohrbaugh designed A Master Stroke: The Battle for Meiktila, March 5-14, 1945 to cover the battle in Burma that resulted in the final liberation of Mandalay and Rangoon. Not a fight in the impenetrable jungle, this was a mobile battle featuring tanks in the armor-friendly central plain of the country.
What follows is a complete desktop-published board wargame; all that you the player have to do is download, print, assemble and provide the six-sided die, plus a coffee cup to hold the activation markers. What you do not have to provide is money, as A Master Stroke is 100% free. (quote: Jim Werbaneth)
Complete game HERE
Map by Jim Werbanath HERE
Check your soul HERE
9:30 AM
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT 2006
WASHINGTON DC (AP) -
Congress is considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?""As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may be."
WASHINGTON DC (AP) -
Congress is considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?""As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may be."
10:31 PM
Through the Wardrobe
This week's BPD round focuses on the work of Clive Stapleton Lewis (C.S. Lewis), author of the Narnia stories, the Ransom SF stories, several Christian polemics, the Screwtape Letters and Til we Have Faces.
The Secret Letter is T
Category 1: Name a "good" character from the Narnia Series.
Category 2: Name of a fantasy race referred to in any of Lewis' stories.
Category 3: Name of an "evil" character from the Narnia series
Category 4: Name of an Inkling.
Category 5: Name of a setting, a place or location in ANY C.S. Lewis novel.
Category 6: Name of any real life person, other than Tolkien, that had an impact on Lewis' life.
Enjoy!
BPD 1: Bard of Avon (and Round 1 Results)
BPD 2: What the Dickens (and Round 2 Results)
Rules
4:57 PM
Waving Hands on Ravenblack
You are invited...
I just started a new Waving Hands/Warlocks/Spellcaster game HERE
The game is WARLOCKS, the online version of Richard Bartle's wonderful old pencil and paper game WAVING HANDS, a game of magickal dueling using somatic gestures and memory. WARLOCKS is also sometimes known as FIRETOP MOUNTAIN or SPELLCASTER.
To find rules for the wonderfully clever WAVING HANDS, go HERE
Spell list
The Ravenblack server isn't glamorous but it processes turns quickly. and has everything you need to play. Waving Hands is a blast.
11:51 PM
Miniatures Games held at TriaDCon 2006, College Park Campus of University of Maryland
Courtesy of both Ed Mueller (of Chevauchee and Armies of Lutzen fame) and Mitch Osborne (my program book editor for Cold Wars) many pictures of miniatures games at TriaDCon were taken, but not by me. Working on a small, understaffed and all-volunteer convention can tax your picture-taking times.
TriaDCon was held in the overflow areas of the South Campus dining facility, with the overflow dining hall (above, right) being the location of almost all board and card games (of various flavors), whereas the miniatures games were held in the lobby area opposite the boardgaming area and in a connecting area called the Gazebo Room. In general there were plenty of tables for all events. I threw my gladiators game on a round table in the main (boardgaming) room because I wanted to be close to the desk.
Here, then is a nice collection of most of Saturday's events. The only event not pictured here adequately is the DBA Tournament (De Bellis Vashingtonus). I have arranged these in subfolders on Photobucket so I could make links to slideshows of the pictures, which can get rather large and be slow-loading. I normally like to load my convention pictures directly into the page but I've had complaints about how slow that is on certain connections.
The following links lead to a PhotoBucket page which may not load on some networks (for some reason, I can't view a Photobucket photo about half the time at work). I believe the viewing application is a Flash applet so your browser will need to be able to handle that.
SATURDAY MINIATURES EVENTS
A Very Spiffy 54mm Saint Lo Miniatures game (it won a convention award, and it deserved it, too!)
A Very Clever American Civil War game played Entirely with Wooden Flats minis, by Otto Schmidt.
The Very Popular DOOM game held Saturday night (only a couple pictures).
First, some French and Indian War action, then a couple of Major Dundee game pictures, combined in a single slideshow.
Four pictures from the Hue Game.
A ton of pictures from the Northwest Frontier game held on Saturday. Looks well attended.
Ben Pecson threw a lovely Spanish Civil War game on Saturday that I unfortunately didn't get a chance to play in.
So as you can see, miniatures games were present in force...
1:44 AM
I'm good for a year!
Right about this time of the year, every year since I started reviewing games, I get a big "unload" from Games Magazine after they are done photographing their games of the year section. Invariably, it arrives right on my birthday or within a day of it.
So I call this my wargaming birthday present.
HERE I STAND: Ed Beach's area movement, card driven design on the Wars of the Reformation. Every game I've played in has been a blast.
ROAD TO BERLIN: from Avalanche. Another one of the Panzer Grenadier units, set in the final year of World War II on the Eastern Front. Lots of pieces, lots of scenarios.
SILENT WAR by Compass Games. I already had this-- this was my copy I lent to the magazine to take pictures of. A great solitaire design of the Pacific War.
ALEXANDER THE GREAT by Phalanx. Looks like another Euro. It reminde me of NERO quite a bit.
COMMAND AND COLORS: ANCIENTS I've played it several times but never bought it because it basically sold out everywhere. Lots of cubes and stickers to process!
TWILIGHT STRUGGLE Another game I've been very impressed with but lost out on the chance to buy because of a low print run. I'm looking forward to playing this one.
BISMARK: COMMERCE RAIDING IN THE ATLANTIC my first game of the Second World War at Sea series. I'm very impressed with this one... it's probably ten times more hypothetical than history but that's okay, I don't mind what if games.
1:01 AM
You tell him, Scrotis!
Late at night, in the same timeslot as the Venture brothers, recently appeared a new show that very well might redefine adult (by that I mean mature) animation.
Simply put:
Take 1/4 Ralph Bakshi's Wizards..
Take 1/4 Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian Series...
Take 1/4 Vaughn Bode's Deadbone comics..
Add in a dose of driving heavy metal thrash music
And the rest is the twisted vision of Aaron Springer and
Genndy Tartakovsky-- it all adds up to the violent, hilarious melange that is KORGOTH OF BARBARIA (airing on Adult Swim as a Pilot programme last week).
And I swear, I haven't laughed so hard since I saw Wizards the first time. The creators of Korgoth draw from some remarkably nostalgic sources for their new show about the adventures of the hapless and stoic barbarian, KORGOTH. In the very first episode, the standard day-in-the-life of a barbarian ensues:
Pilot - Korgoth is infected with a deadly parasite by Gog-Ma-Gogg and extorted to steal an item known as "The Golden Goblin of the Fourth Age" from the wizard Specules. He journeys with a group of Gog-Ma-Gogg's henchmen to Specules' castle. Many random fights take place during his journey and at some point he saves a girl chained to a killer tree. He makes this girl his own and continues on. The group reaches the castle considerably smaller than when it had left. The wizard is not at his castle and is presumed dead according to information provided by Gog-Ma-Gogg. Korgoth's posse begins to plunder the castle while Korgoth goes to find the Golden Goblin. In the middle of their plunder Specules returns explaining he was on vacation. Specules uses his magic and kills many of the men and incapacitates the
rest. Then Specules creates a monster made out of gum to kill Korgoth. Korgoth defeats this monster with a little bit of difficulty. Specules uses his magic as a last resort against Korgoth, however he accidentily misses and kills Korgoth's girl. Korgoth takes a two-pronged candle stick holder and impales Specules through the eyes. However Specules survives this by transferring his head onto the dead girl and proceeds to fly out the window. Korgoth returns to Gog-Ma-Gogg with the Golden Goblin and gets the elixir for the deadly parasite, though the elixer comes with a prescription of many more and he is informed the elixir will take many seasons to take full effect.
The voice characterizations, somewhat crude animation somewhat similar to Bode, the subject matter and setting, they all add up to a great time for products of the D&D generation. I can't recommend this show highly enough. If you're a guy who read pulp adventure stories or liked Fahfrd and the Grey Mouser or Conan or the works of Jack Vance or Michael Moorcock, you WILL love this series. Check it out. Go to the ADULT SWIM WEBSITE and leave them an "I want my Korgoth, dammit!" email. You won't regret it.
A little teaser footage:
Check out: The Bar Encounter and the Encounter with Gog-Ma-Gog, Baron of Thieves and the finale at Specules' Castle.
4:06 PM
My Sources are Sacrosanct
As related to me by a friend (and attorney)
When I was fresh out of law school, one of my first clients was a gentleman :ahem: from a rural part of the county. This gentleman :ahem: was a notorious scofflaw and recidivist. On this particular occasion, the gentleman :ahem: had been arrested for having unlawful carnal knowledge with a goat.
The arresting police officer presented his evidence to the arraignment judge. The goat was not taken into custody, but a pair of thigh high rubber fishing boots was tagged as state’s evidence. Being a naïve young lawyer, I asked what the boots could have to do with a case of unlawful carnal knowledge of the goat variety. I was informed by the arresting officer that it is common knowledge in certain circles that goats, being of fickle temperament, do not often take kindly to the press of affection. They are wont to flail and kick violently at the affront to their rear. Hence the boots.
One can don said boots, carefully place one hind leg of one’s objet de desire into each boot. The hind legs being immobilized, the romance can now be consummated.
The moral of this story of course is that when engaging in unsafe sex with a goat, always wear you rubbers.
My only query... DID THE GOAT GET OFF?
3:03 PM
We had a Dickens of a time with this one.
Round 2 was themed on the works of the prolific English author, Charles Dickens.
Answers could be first and last names across the round (not specific categories as in Round 1). "Mr.", "Madam" "Mrs." or "Miss" do not count as names. As always, stupid or disruptive answers didn't count.
The Secret Letter was M
Category 1: A Dickens character that dies in the course of the story.
Category 2: A Dickens character that weds in the course of the story.
Category 3: A comic character (an obvious one, like the Fat Boy in the Pickwick papers.. don't suggest "I think Al Migglesworth is funny" because his name starts with the right letter).
Category 4: A character that is cheated during the course of the story.
Category 5: A character that sickens (but doesn't die) during the course of the story.
Category 6: A real life acquaintance of Charles Dickens.
Note: See the italicized words from Category 1. I couldn't count Marley, as he was already dead when A Christmas Carol starts.
Bill Ramsay (as usual) scores high and ties with newcomer Rich Low. Canadian Peter was not far behind. Considering all the grousing about the subject matter, the scores were on average much higher this round than last.
Next Round is MONDAY, subject: C.S. Lewis. Break out your Narnia stories.
11:22 AM
Game: CONSIMWORLD 1 at "Citadels of Achilles" site
Sign up for CONSIMWORLD 1
(Max players 4, districts 8) HERE
(I set the "Assign roles randomly" button, which gave me:
Assassin, Tax Collector, Wizard, King, Alchemist, Bishop,
Architect, Diplomat, Artist)
Get a new account HERE
Rules to CITADELS HERE
and here (from the American Publisher)
House rules to the host site here
Finally, Bruno Faidutti's Citadels page
9:02 AM
Determined to waltz through the minefield, Firefight plunges ahead...
Resistance is not Futile, the game "celebrating the heroic Polish resistance in the Warsaw Ghetto" (publisher description) is back on sale again today. I'm not sure if this is a mistake and an older page was put on the website in error, but it does appear as if you can order the game from Firefight.
I haven't hid my dislike for the concept of publishing a game about an event that would force one player to roleplay an exterminator. The historic event in question did occur, did involve guns and molotov cocktails and tanks and stuff, but it was no battle. Not really. The heroic (yes, I do think they were heroic) and misguided Jewish defenders did resist, and to the end-- but in game turns those events last exactly one turn. The rest of the game (according to the one playtest report I had opportunity to read, before it got pulled offline) is about hunting down the pockets of resistance and exterminating them. There's no way in hell I would play a game like this, nor would I buy stuff from this company. I respect their right to publish and fervently wish they enjoy their hard won freedom of speech that would allows them to print this game in a free society. In my opinion, the act of printing the game (given the extremely negative press the game has received) will do the hobby some injury for a few years. Too bad...
2:21 PM
What the Dickens?
The following people have not sent in answers as of Friday afternoon.
Alex
J.R.
Klaus
Mike R
Wayne
In addition, Peter Card, you didn't answer category one. You still have time to frantically research an answer
2:01 PM
Due to the advent of DVR/TIVO, I actually do manage to catch a TV show from time to time, usually late at night. These are the shows that look even remotely interesting to me at this stage.
(NBC) Heroes: A plague(?) causes an outbreak of a condition that simulates superpowers. The hype, advertising and pilot are all very cheesey-- the characterization looks lame and the dialogue needs improvement. The premise is very interesting, however, and I will give it a shot.
(CBS) Jericho: An unspecified event, some kind of nuclear explosion perhaps, isolates the citizens of a small town in Kansas.. literally isolates.. as in a giant bubble or something. Is the town now in a statis bubble or something? Great premise. Really hokey teasers and trailers.
(SciFi) Battlestar Galactica: The best dramatic show on television returns this October! The SCI FI network is broadcasting short "webisodes" to get the audience (who has been patiently waiting for about 8 months now) back into the flow of things with tihis critically acclaimed show. SF took a huge risk in having such a huge air gap between seasons; from what I've seen it will be worth it.
Psych: a man who was intensely trained from birth to take advantage of his photographic memory starts solving crimes for the police as an act of altruism. The police find his uncanny ability to solve crimes just a tad too suspicious. So he decides to pretend he is a "psychic detective" instead, and now the cops think he is a genius. Haven't seen it yet, don't know much more than this, but I love that premise.
technorati tags:Battlestar, Galactica, SciFi, Psych, Jericho, Heroes
Blogged with Flock
11:31 AM
Mike Young of Ineractivities Ink
..maintains a lively Livejournal style blog with all of the material he once published with his now defunct gaming company, Interativitives Ink.
Mike is the designer of a game called HAMLET! where the players assume the role of various possible endings of the play HAMLET by you-know-who. I think it's one of the funniest game ideas ever.
He posts an occasional puzzle there and I found the current one to be very interesting. I can't link directly to it because then it would be too easy to figure it out. However, if you feel like you just HAVE to discover the answer, start at Mike's Livejournal link (in the big title above).
What word(s) or phrase is suggested by the sequence at the bottom of the page?
While you're at it, check out the free storytelling/crude joke telling card game called "The Aristocrats", based upon the recent Penn Jillete's movie about the dirtiest joke in vaudville. The game is designed to be downloaded and printed on cards, for free. Have fun.
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6:59 AM
AAR sees print
Pat Condray very graciously has published a somewhat revised version of the game recap I posted here in the middle of my HISTORICON FIRST POST (see: Friday evening). The newsletter version appeared in HMGS-South's REBEL YELL in the current issue, number 35. I have to say it reads somewhat better taken out of the larger framework of a massive convention stream of conciousness piece. Pat's occassional corrections and clarifications make for better reading overall and Pat has better pictures than I took, to boot.
So if you are a subscriber to REBEL YELL, check it out. Thanks for the mention, Pat-- he calls me "blogger extraordinaire" therein.. we certainly try!
6:53 AM
Krao, the Darwin's Missing Link (1876-1926)
Darwin's theory of evolution – and man's implied ascendancy from an ape-like creatures - is controversial. When it was first introduced to the public, most people though the idea was preposterous. Until the apparent 'missing link' between man and ape appeared in a Philadelphia dime museum.
Krao was born is Siam, modern day Thailand, in 1876. From birth, the girl was completely covered with hair, including a mane-like track of hair flowing down her back from between her shoulder blades. She was discovered at the age of six by a promoter exuberantly named the Great Farini. Farini took the girl on a successful tour of Europe before starting a tour in the United State. While the dime museum was a starting point, it wasn't long before Krao was a sought after marvel featured by the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus.
While often called 'The Ape Woman' Krao was principally advertised as 'Darwin's Missing Link'. To all those who saw her, she was proof of Darwin's ideas. It was claimed, somewhat ridiculously, that Krao was of a race of tree dwelling, ape-like people but many bought the story – including noted naturalists and scientists. Numerous papers were written on Krao and her role as Darwinian proof. In the 1896 tome Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine, the authors noted her many ape qualities including her 'prehensile feet'. In reality Krao was a young woman of above average intelligence who was both well read and multilingual. She just happened to suffer from an advanced form of hypertrichosis.
Unlike Julia Pastrana, Krao was fortunate in that she was never exploited. She performed and displayed herself in her own terms for most of her adult life. She was free to do as she pleased and spent the last 20 years of her life in a private apartment, entertaining guests and neighbors with her cooking and charming personality.
Krao never married, although she had admirers, and she passed due to influenza on April 16th, 1926
9:26 PM
"There's two kinds of pedophiles: Star Trek and Star Wars"
The Star Trek connection
A surprising number of child sex abusers appear to be Trekkies. Trying to figure out what that means, however, shows how little we really know about pedophiles
JONATHON GATEHOUSE
The first thing detectives from the Toronto police sex crimes unit saw when they entered Roderick Cowan's apartment was an autographed picture of William Shatner. Along with the photos on the computer of Scott Faichnie, also busted for possessing child porn, they found a snapshot of the pediatric nurse and Boy Scout leader wearing a dress "Federation" uniform. Another suspect had a TV remote control shaped like a phaser. Yet another had a Star Trek credit card in his wallet. One was using "Picard" as his screen name. In the 3 1/2 years since police in Canada's biggest city established a special unit to tackle child pornography, investigators have been through so many dwellings packed with sci-fi books, DVDs, toys and collectibles like Klingon swords and sashes that it's become a dark squadroom joke. "We always say there are two types of pedophiles: Star Trek and Star Wars," says Det. Ian Lamond, the unit's second-in-command. "But it's mostly Star Trek."
It's the type of oddball coincidence that's difficult to ignore. Even more so when you realize there's virtually nothing else, beyond their shared perversion, that links the new generation of child sex offenders. When the Toronto squad -- which drew international attention this month for its successful efforts to identify a young victim, the so-called Disney World Girl -- first started, investigators could draw a profile of their typical bust. It was the common stereotype of the molester and collector -- an older white male, living alone or with his aged parents, often in squalid conditions. "A loser in a basement wearing track pants," says Lamond.
But as child pornography has exploded on the Internet, and the number of suspects under investigation has mushroomed, that pattern has changed. The detective points to a white marker board on the wall of the squad's downtown office that lists the names of the two dozen people they've arrested so far in 2005. The surnames are as diverse as the Toronto phone book. So are the professions, educational backgrounds, and income brackets. "We've had suspects from age 18 to 82. People who live in housing projects and in Forest Hill mansions," he says. "If there's a common thread, we're missing it."
The Toronto child-porn squad receives more than 500 tips a year. The RCMP, provincial police and other forces across the country deal with thousands more. Detectives sift through each horrifying image with the sure knowledge that somewhere a child has been violated, by their suspect or someone else down the chain. And as investigations grow, so do our fears. The safety of our children -- in the streets, at school, in cyberspace -- has become one of society's central preoccupations. Yet with every arrest and prosecution it becomes clearer that we know practically nothing about the uncommon criminals who prey upon them. When it comes to pedophiles, there's more myth and anecdote than hard facts. And after more than 100 years of study, the task of separating the science from the fiction has only just begun.
The corner suite on the fourth floor of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health affords a decent view of the University of Toronto campus, but the patient never gets to see it. Inside the laboratory's thick-curtained darkness, from the comfort of a brown vinyl recliner, the man is instead faced with three large white screens. Slide projectors flash medical textbook-style photos of nude men, women and children in carefully timed sequence while the test subject listens to erotic stories via headphones. A pressure cuff and transducers measure even the most minute changes in blood flow to the penis. Established in the late 1960s, based on technology developed in Czechoslovakia a decade before, the CAMH lab and others like it remain the best-established laboratory method to scientifically determine if someone has a sexual preference for children. It is far from foolproof. In tests of men who have three convictions for molestation but deny any attraction to children, the machine is about 60 per cent accurate. In about five per cent of cases it gives a false positive.
Still, doctors find the lab useful in helping them determine candidates for treatment. The CAMH, a world authority on child sex offenders, screens about nine men a week, most of them parolees or on probation. In thousands of tests over the past decades, what its researchers, and others in the field, have discovered is that only about half of the men who sexually abuse kids have an actual sexual preference for them. The remaining 50 per cent of molesters have almost-normal, adult-oriented sexual attractions. Their abuse, often against family members, is not the result of a deep-seated preference, but rather a tragic lapse of judgment, frequently abetted by drugs or alcohol. They can be punished by the courts, doctors can help them deal with their addictions, but there is no cure for bad choices.
Ray Blanchard, the institute's head of clinical sexology services, has long been looking for clues to what makes molesters tick. Drawing on decades of case files (including the work of Kurt Freund, the pioneering Czech psychiatrist who set up the lab when he immigrated to Canada following the 1968 Soviet invasion), he and his colleagues have uncovered some surprising patterns among molesters. Men with a sexual preference for children are more likely to have suffered head injuries when they themselves were young. As a group, they have slightly lower IQs than the general population -- 90 on average, versus the societal norm of 100 -- and score lower on memory tests. And they are three times more likely to be left-handed. Almost 30 per cent of pedophiles are southpaws, versus eight to 12 per cent of the rest of the male population. The higher rate of left-handedness is important because it strongly suggests that pedophilia may have more to do with nature than nurture. Differences in intelligence could be explained by the simple notion that the smarter pedophiles are less likely to be caught. But a higher rate of left-handedness -- which develops in utero and has already been associated with a variety of neurological problems including Down's syndrome, epilepsy, autism and dyslexia -- hints that their brains may be structured differently.
Blanchard and his colleagues have only just begun to look for the specific differences with MRI scans. And they don't have a ready explanation for why pedophiles' brains might have changed in the womb -- whether it's a matter of genetics, biological toxins, or some outside factor like tobacco or alcohol use. He compares the situation to Plato's parable of the cave -- where bound prisoners sit facing a wall, a fire behind them, able only to guess at what is happening around them. "This is the best information we have, and at this point we're just sitting in the cave looking at the shadows."
It was the German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing who first attached the label pedophile to men who are sexually attracted to children. His landmark 1886 study of perversity, Psychopathia-Sexualis, remains the foundation for much of our modern understanding of sexual identity. He coined the term sadism, and popularized the idea that homosexuality, rather than being a crime, was a natural and ultimately normal state. But if Krafft-Ebing put a name to the mental disorder that underlies child sex abuse, those who followed have made little progress in figuring out what to do about it. Castration, the age-old avenging response to sexual crimes, has faded along with our taste for other draconian punishments. The few Western nations that practised castration in the 20th century -- Estonia, Switzerland and Germany among them -- stopped decades ago. (A few U.S. states have recently endorsed the idea of chemical castration, but it has proven difficult to keep offenders on the sex-drive-lowering drugs, which have many side effects.) In Canada, where history has shown that authorities tended to sweep child sex abuse under the carpet at least as frequently as they acted against it, there were few options beyond incarceration.
As attitudes changed in the 1960s and '70s, some doctors began experimenting with aversion therapies: tying sexually arousing images or cues to foul odors, or even electric shocks. Follow-up studies found that patients quickly learned how to suppress their responses during therapy in order to avoid the unpleasant consequences. Psychotherapists focused on a whole range of supposed issues -- conflict with mothers, excessive sexual desire -- but had no real evidence that their approaches were working. "People were trying everything back then," says Howard Barbaree, clinical director of the CAMH's law and mental health program. "But we had no way of measuring outcomes, no easy access to the rates of recidivism."
Since the mid-1980s, pedophilia has most often been treated like an addiction, with the focus on "relapse prevention." Patients are taught to recognize the things that trigger their urges, and avoid situations where they might be tempted. Barbaree believes the approach works well with motivated patients, but acknowledges that statistics suggest pedophiles, like all sex offenders, remain high-risk parolees. A recently concluded eight-year study of California's sex offender treatment program found that child molesters who followed the therapy were just as likely to reoffend as those who didn't. And the danger increases the longer they remain in the community -- the rate of recidivism in Canada after five years is 13 per cent, but by 10 years it has climbed to 20 per cent.
Our understanding of pedophiles has improved over the past decades. We now know they are generally seven to 10 years older than rapists are when they commit their first offence, and that their sexual preferences are as fixed as anyone else's (fewer than 10 per cent of test subjects show strong attractions to both adults and children or pubescents). We are familiar with how they groom their victims, and know that the notion molesters have themselves been abused isn't necessarily true -- just one-sixth report childhood abuse, although among pedophiles who prey exclusively on boys, the proportion climbs to two-thirds.
And some lessons have been learned, says Barbaree. There are now actuarial formulas to help predict how much of a risk a molester is to reoffend. Though to hear him describe the factors considered -- previous convictions, alcohol and drug abuse, access to children -- it sounds more like common sense than science. It's progress, but little comfort to those seeking an answer to the big question -- how society can effectively identify and treat pedophiles before they find their first victim. "People need to be patient," says Barbaree. "We're as affected by the behaviour of these individuals as the public is. We all have children too. It's a difficult field."
Those who like to look eventually want to touch. At least, that's the deeply held belief among the police officers who hunt child-porn users. Ian Lamond, of the Toronto sex crimes unit, says 30 to 40 per cent of the people his detectives arrest have previously been charged with or investigated for child sex abuse. The real number who have molested, he reasons, must be even higher. The case of Holly Jones, the 10-year-old who was kidnapped and murdered in the spring of 2003, has left a profound impression on the force. Her confessed killer, Michael Briere, told officers that he went from viewing child pornography on his computer to committing rape and murder in a matter of minutes. "The more you immerse yourself in a fantasy world where all children are willing and available, the more you feel you are missing out on something," says Lamond.
But verifying the link that police believe exists between viewing and doing is no simple task. Although the current law prohibiting the possession, production and distribution of child pornography has been in place since 1993, most of the arrests have come only within the past five years. And so far, there is little hard evidence that the explosion of child porn on the Internet has created a more dangerous environment for our children. "It's clear that people have much greater access to child pornography than they used to," says Martin Lalumière, a University of Lethbridge psychologist. "But it's also clear that it hasn't led to an increase in assaults." Crime rates, including all types of sexual assaults, have fallen precipitously since their peaks in the early 1990s. In the United States, the number of juvenile rapes reported to police dropped 26 per cent between 1992 and 2001. And the number of substantiated sexual abuse cases reported to child protection authorities decreased by 40 per cent. In Canada, overall sexual assaults fell 36 per cent between 1993 and 2002. Comparable national figures for just child sex abuse aren't available, but a 2002 Ontario study found a 44 per cent drop in reports between 1993 and '98.
In a first-of-its-kind study published this month in the journal Sexual Abuse, Michael Seto, a University of Toronto psychologist, and Angela Eke, who works for the Ontario Provincial Police's behavioural sciences section, tracked the records of 201 adult male child-porn offenders over a three-year period. The study found 34 (17 per cent) had reoffended. Among them, the biggest proportion were those with a prior record for molesting. Of the nine new "contact sex offences," just one was committed by a man who had been known only to look at porn in the past. "Our finding does contradict the assumption that all child pornography offenders are at very high risk to commit contact sexual offences involving children," the pair wrote.
Seto and Eke are continuing their research, and will soon start combing through the police files of close to 400 child-porn offenders across Ontario, searching for commonalities and patterns of behaviour. One of the things they will be looking for is reports of suspects with sci-fi collections, especially Star Trek. Seto hypothesizes that the pedophiles might be using their toys and memorabilia to groom victims -- a view that Blanchard shares. "They have to adapt their strategies," he says. "Just like a regular heterosexual guy sets up situations to get women in sexual proximity."
To the cops in the Toronto squad room, however, it's all about monsters. Maybe the pedophiles prefer a fantasy world filled with mutants where the everyday rules don't apply. Det.-Const. Bill McGarry, the computer whiz whose dogged work helped track the Disney World Girl and establish that her molester was already in prison, knows he is dealing with something alien to everything he and his colleagues hold dear. "It's quite one thing to listen to a kid describe an attack," he says. "But when it pops up on your computer, and you can hear them screaming, it puts it all in perspective." The dark side doesn't just exist in science fiction.
Story: Macleans.CA
1:27 AM
Kevin Cook, the brains behind Dice Collector.com, has obviously spent many, many months collecting dice of all types, sizes and shapes. I'm very impressed with the labor of love that went into his site. It's actually quite useful.
He even had a picture of the Roman numeral dice we were giving away at TriaDCon. That's complete!
Click on the logo to go there...
3:24 PM
It's TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY, matey!
Garrrr, I clear forgot that'un.
Arthur Treacher Yellow Eye
What is YOUR pirate name?
Bugger me wi' a marlinspike and splice the mainbrace!!!'
From the website, it's Cap'n Slappy's advice to the lovelorn
(copyright, Talk like a pirate Day)
Advice to the Lovelorn
Dear Cap'n Slappy,
OK, so I know all about the biology. I understand about vascular constriction and lubrication and sensitivity and all that stuff. I've had the sex ed classes and understand the mechanics. There's just one question I still haven't figured out.
How do you convince her?
- Lonely swabbie
Dear Lone Swabbie,
Have we ruled out your obvious hygiene deficits? If so, there are some simple rules to follow when you are wooing a wench.
Rule #1 Never appear to be "needy." Wenches will have no respect for a pirate who begs for it. Present an aloof (but fresh smelling) air. Give her the impression that you could do without her or her kind. As a show of your aloofness, kiss a fancy lad full on the mouth and let her see you do it. Nothing screams "come-hither" like the woman who thinks ye may fancy the lads a bit too much.
Rule #2 Get in touch with the comic inside you. Wenches love to laugh. Try walking into the mizzenmast while looking another direction or slipping in chum spillage. Humor is the best knicker-removal system known to man. With the right joke or anecdote, you will have her bloomers under your bunk in no time.
Rule #3 Above all, act like you've been thar before. This is not something you learn in one of them fancy schmancy "books" with the charcoal drawings. (Although, the books are more easily put away when you are done with them.) Experience is not so nearly important as the "appearance of experience."
But first things first. Get that bath! (And would a couple of Botox injections kill you?)
- Cap'n Slappy
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O Cap'n!
I once loved a pirate wench. She was a beauty. But our parents came between us. They both wanted us to tie the knot, or splice the mainbrace or something like that, and of course that meant we never wanted to see each other again. She sailed on, and is not an unprobably beautiful and happy wench while I am stuck in dry dock wondering. O Cap'n My Cap'n, whatever become of that buxom beauty?
How do I stop thinking of her, or is that impossible?
Red Willy
My Dear Ruddy Willy,
Your parents were right! She is a saucy wench and you are a man of the sea. Sure, you're dry-docked...as well you should stay. But to stop thinking of her, do like the Cap'n does...drink heavily, sing sad songs at the night sky and play darts. Darts, lad, be the cure for love gone wrong...or just plain gone. But don't forget to drink! It will help with the singin' and make you think you're a better darts shooter than you are.
By the way, your parents have moved on without you, too. Have a nice day.
- Cap'n Slappy
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Dear Cap'n Slappy,
Do girls like me?
- James
Awwwwe, Sweet Baby James!
Yes, the girls like you! They like you because you are "non-threatening" and "just like a brother to them" and "not just interested in 'one thing' like all those cute hunky boys we can't get our minds and eyes and tongues off of." You are VERY popular with the girls. They see you as just "one of them," without being "the competition."
Get used to many, many lonely years ahead, Jimmy.
- Cap'n Slappy
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Dear Cap'n Slappy,
Why don't boys like meeee???
- Shelly 'Mike' Rotch-Hertz
Ahoy, "Mike?"
Most people don't know this but Cap'n Slappy has a crack team of investigators who look into these kinds of questions. They did extensive research on you, "Mike" and found that there may be one or two clues as to "why boys don't like youuuuuuu!"
Clue #1 You seem to have a "dude's" nickname. While many would find that alluring and attractive, it seems the boys you are seeking are not among them.
Clue #2 Our scientific research has found that males do not typically find themselves attracted to what appears to be a "whiney" quality to your voice. Perhaps if you tried ending the last word of your sentence, "Why don't boys like meeee???" with the more-traditional, less whiney single "e" or even the slightly agitated double "e" rather than a quadruple "e" accompanied by a battalion of question marks, you might achieve a more confident and less desperate voice. (In a related study, it was found that women can actually smell desperation on men. Scientists believe this is part of "natural selection" and should not be tampered with.)
Now, Shelly-Mike, there are a couple of things to look at. My investigators also suggested the following for your consideration.
Shave that uni-brow.
Bathe, occasionally.
Stop calling your gentlemen-callers, "Porky" on the first dates.
Leave your puppet at home.
Do not suggest that your date look at another man's groin region by saying, "Check out THAT package!"
I hope this is helpful and that as some of these minor adjustments are made, you will find the happy and healthy relationship you seek. If not, you can always get some pirate drunk and chain him up in your basement.
- Cap'n Slappy
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Dear Cap'n Slappy,
Is sex really that great?
- A goddess among wenches
Ahoy Me goddess!
This is one of those "Depends" answers. And when I say "Depends," I am not talking about the disposable undergarments designed absorb human waste material for unfortunate people who have lost control of their bowels. When I say "Depends," it means that under some conditions, sex IS really that great. But these conditions seem to differ between the genders.
Let me make some broad generalizations that I will state as scientific fact.
According to a scientific study ...
Women prefer sex when it is the expression of deep-felt affection between two people who have made a commitment to love each other.
Men like to have sex anytime, anywhere with anything.
Women view sex as a deep and sacred connection between themselves and their lover.
Nine out of ten men can't remember the woman's name WHILE they are having sex with them. Seven out of ten never even knew her name.
Women have some very specific ideals for the men they choose to take as lovers.
Men will have sex with a goat or a beach ball if they can't find a woman.
Many women hope that sex will be an avenue for deepening the long-term commitment between them and their lover.
Men like to have sex. Now, please.
Women like the first time they have sex with a man to be something special. They like flowers and candles and music that will lock the moment in their memory forever.
Men like the first time they have sex with a woman to be the first of many. If not with this person, then with someone who has the same type of equipment. If not, a goat will do.
So you see, me goddess, Science can tell us much about sex, but only you can decide if it is, in fact, "great."
- Cap'n Slappy
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Dear Cap'n Slappy,
How do you get over someone? I mean completely flush someone out of your nostalgia, and everything.
- A dumped booty
Ahoy, me sad little pirate!
Thar be an old pirate sayin': "Time Heals All Wounds." Well, perhaps not all wounds. I've been waitin' for me hand, me leg and me eye to heal but they just stay separated from me. But that's more of a "break off" than a "break up."
But while I may never grow back a hand, or a leg, or an eye, or me liver, ye may grow back a heart to replace the one that's been broken. The secret, if thar be one, is to go out and have fun! I know, it's hard to do that when yer all sad and such, but believe me, little pirate, as ye force yerself to go out and continue adventurin' ye'll find that the happiness in yer life didn't have a compass pointed toward someone else. It was always in ye!
So, pick yerself up. Put a maniacal smile on yer face. Slap some weasel grease to yer wounds. Grab a weapon and get back in the fight! (Metaphorically ... don't actually grab a weapon and start fighting people.) And remember ... everyday is a new adventure and the real treasure in life isn't buried, it's right thar in front of ye. It's the NEXT THING that happens.
... just a little "Uncle Slappy" advice ...
- Cap'n Slappy
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Dear Capn' Slappy ,
My wife has dun let me barnacles get tarnished, I've been doin alot of me own polishing lately. I sure could use a bit of advice to get the old mast rubbed by the old wench... I already told er how beaitiful she is and stuff like that.
- Disgruntled Pirate Hubby
Dear Disgruntled,
Ye'd like to get gruntled again, wouldn't ye? Tellin her she's beautiful is a fine thing and I am sure will earn ye barnacle buffin' points but ye may want to reconsider referrin to her as "the old wench." Now, "the" is a fine article and she'll have no complaint thar. "Wench" may be taken as offensive at first, but once she knows it's just a word for "woman" she may calm down. "Old" may be whar she declared the Mast Rubbin' Reduction Act of 2003. Instead of "old" try, "Saucy" or "Sassy" or "Steamin' hot Goddess o' love"...
Ye can do it! And until ye do, she won't.
Yours for Greater Gruntledness,
- Cap'n Slappy
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Dear Cap'n Slappy,
If a pirate likes a girl how should he tell her he likes that girl? And Where should a pirate bring a girl for his dates.?
- parrot eatin pete
Ahoy Parrot Eatin' Pete!
Put the bird down and let me have a few words with ye, lad. Don't tell a girl ye like her. Just like her and let yer actions speak fer themselves. Do or don't do, lad, but don't sit around prattlin' on about it.
As fer "datin'" ... Cap'n Slappy suggests the malt shop where the juke box be playin some o' that thar rock-n-roll what's got the kids up in a tizzy these days! Or perhaps ye would prefer an evening of bowling! Ye could take along your parents and siblings and make it a family date! Perhaps one o' them moving picture shows would be nice. And get the extra big popcorn!
Or, ye could just sit in the basement of yer parents' house, watchin' anime and makin' out like thar ain't no tomorrow.
Back when I was just Midshipman Slappy we used to go sit in a "courtin' parlor" and count roses in the wallpaper. Thems was the days.
- Cap'n Slappy
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Ahoy Cap'n Slappy,
I be having wench troubles. I'm involved in a triangle deadlier than the Bermuda. This particular wench is the perfect pirate pet. We plunder, loot, steal, murder, and sack are guts out. However, she's not my gf. She belongs to one of my mates (through certain circumstances I might add). Me and her are the best o'friends though. I don't know if I should tell her that I love her. I don't wanna skewer me friend, though. But I need to do something. Suggestions?
Captain Jack Sparrow
P.S. I think she actually likes me. Though I don't wanna push me luck. Cheers.
Aye! The classic "Best Friend's Girl" scenario!
Let's think this through for a moment. Let's say she DOES like ye and wants desperately to give ye a jolly good roisterin'! Then what do ye have? Ye've betrayed the friend and not just THAT friend, but all of "male-dom" from here to the ending of the world. Guys for decades to come will be able to smell fink about ye! Of course, ye will have the girl ... who after three or four months will be wondering if ye'll betray her too. Savvy, Jack? Or, ye'll wonder whenever she is plunderin' away with the few friends ye'll have left if she won't be "boardin' one of their vessels" if ye get me drift.
If ye have any respect fer yer mate, fer her or fer yerself, ye'll be a good friend to everyone and let things be. Karma is a harsh mistress, me lad!
Thar be approximately three and a half billion wenches on the planet. At least a dozen of them are "available" at any time.
1:42 PM
Gladiator Fight Club at TriaDCon
Of the three events I wanted to run at TriaDCon I ended up running postponing one until Fall-IN! and cancelling another because the "tempo of operations" got a little heavy at TriaDCon.
George
The event I DID run, 54mm Gladiators ("The Wooden Sword") was a lot of fun. Somewhat whimsically, a movie parallel came to mind.
Mitch Osborne, George Callanan from Baltimore, and myself sat down for a quick Free For All set that featured deadly dwarven tag teams, 2 retiarri, two hoplomachus, 2 secutors, 1 thracian, one horribly outmatched pugile, and TWO barely trained savage fighting bears. You can see where this is going, already, can't you?
Some disreputable character
Our game end condition was at second blood. Mostly because we were all hungry and wanted to go get dinner.
That's Mitch's Hoplo at the top of the page... We used 54mm mixed Italeria and Alpha miniatures. We used highly modified BLOOD AND SWASH rules with a very detailed variant written for gladiators by Steve Gibson, a friend of mine. I modified it somewhat further for 54mm and the grid pattern terrain map.
Early on in the game, Mitch's bear, Smokey, is under control. We made a saving throw for bears-- if they get wounded, the roll versus SAVE to see if they stay controlled. Alas, Smokey went berserk pretty quickly. Fortuntely for Mitch, they were pointed at George's dwarven tag team at the time!
Surprisingly, the dwarf did open up a minor can of whup-ass on the bear. Then he left in a big, big hurry the next time his initiative card was drawn.
Over at my end of the table, things are hotting up quick as the two closer forces smash together. That's MY Retiarus up top and George's Retiarus 2 below, his Secutor, my Pugile, and his Tracian. Nobody, but NOBODY could net anything in this game. The Retiarii were easy meat!!
Bill Frye, former Atlanticon Director, Former HMGS East Cold Wars director, dropped by and puts a dollar down on first kill. Now that we're playing for the big money, things get ugly...
MY bear, "Not Very Gentle Ben", mauls George's Thracian, and he cuts Ben in the vitals. Meanwhile, my hapless Pugile maneuvers around him for a Kidney Punch. There is no honor at Gladiator Fight Club.
Meanwhile, I add my own simoleon into the pot, but my colleagues wuss out. Since my Samnite is hammering his Retiarus into meat goo, it looks as if that sweet, sweet two dollars will soon be MINE!!!!
At this point George's Retiarus is down to something like 5 points remaining.
Over on the other side of the Arena, Mitch is having his own difficulties. The dwarves, who had enraged Smokey, had made him all berserk so he could no longer be controlled. That means he went after the nearest living thing, which was Mitch's big barbarian berserker. Alas, Smokey could run as fast as the fighter could!
It's looking like curtains for George's Retiarus as I get in a couple more hits.
Mitch tries to lead Smokey over to us to share the loving... he finally turns on Smokey and engages him. Anything beats getting clawed to death from behind...
AN UPSET!!!!
George's Thracian downs Not So Gentle Ben and kills him. Then he turns on my hapless, totally outmatched Pugile and chops him into chutney!!! All in about as much time as it takes to tell!!!!!!
And here's the result.
I had a great time at TriaDCon, which was in its first year out. I am really looking forward to next year!!!
(Attribution: Photos by Kaarin Englemann and Mitch Osborne, which is why Mitch isn't in any of the photos above)
